Black Friday Files Discrimination Suit Against White Christmas

I Will Tolerate Discrimination No More

I Will Tolerate Discrimination No More

Black Friday has filed a discrimination suit against White Christmas stating White Christmas refuses to sit next to him on buses and trains during the cross-country tours the two make together yearly at this time. “I’ve had enough of his discriminatory crap,” an angry Black Friday told reporters today. “White Christmas thinks he can treat me however he wants simply because he’s a Sunday and White, and I’m a Friday and Black. He literally makes me sit at the back of any vehicle we ride in together, and he expects me to carry his luggage for him all the time too. For years now I’ve just done whatever he wanted because my self-esteem was very low. I’m a Friday in a Christian country. Fridays are not the most chipper days with the Christian faithful. Jesus was brutally tortured and crucified on one. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for day of the Christian week, eh?  One thing Fridays and the Jews have in common is that Christians blame us both for something we had absolutely nothing to do with, the horrific murder of Jesus.  As well, I’m African-American, and getting a fair deal in a country ruled by a powerful bigoted bunch of tight-ass wealthy white people is truly a mother fucking bitch. It’s hard to look on the bright side with stresses like that put on you just because of who you are.

Being Sued For Racial Discrimination

Being Sued For Racial Discrimination

It’s Sundays Christians most love in America, Sundays and things that are white. Jesus resurrected on that day, and all of Jesus’ worshipers gather on that day to kiss his ass for choosing to save them over blokes like me.  Just call something white, and it gets immediate acceptance in America. White picket fences around little white houses set next to snow-capped hills are things American fairy tales are written about.  But it’s all a bunch of shit made up to keep guys like me feeling guilty about wanting my fair share of the American pie.  So I’m taking White Christmas to court, and I’m calling him out for his bigotry and his racial discrimination against me.  I’m gonna make that bastard put my kids AND my grand kids through Harvard med school with the money I’m gonna get from him. We’ll see how superior he feels then. Bastard.”

Advertisements

33 thoughts on “Black Friday Files Discrimination Suit Against White Christmas

  1. Fight the power, Black Friday!! Although, everyone loves Fridays (Thank God it’s…) and surely the back of the bus is where kids have the most fun? Good luck with the lawsuit 🙂

  2. I never noticed that Friday is Black and Sunday is White, until you, my dear TACP have dared to share! I wonder what colors would be assigned to other days of the week.

    • Well, Black Friday is traditionally the maniacal shopping day the Friday after Thanksgiving every year. Why they call it Black Friday, I’ve no idea. Maybe cause people spend so much on that day it puts stores in the black. So, then, if that’s true, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving should be Red Wednesday, as stores have not yet gone into the Black yet. As well, the Saturday after Black Friday could be called, Still Black Saturday or Going Back Into Red Saturday, depending on sales. Sunday, being a day of God and re-affirming how much White Christian America hates gays, liberals, undocumented Hispanic immigrants, and Jews, is always White Sunday. The Monday after Thanksgiving I believe is called Cyber Monday cause a lot of people spend $ on Amazon.com that day. This then leaves us with WTF Tuesday because, well, WTF is up with Tuesday anyway? $Amen$

    • “Why they call it Black Friday, I’ve no idea. Maybe cause people spend so much on that day it puts stores in the black.”

      Yep.

      “WTF Tuesday”. LOL

    • Another great link. Thanks. Here’s a word for you: Delusionalasthesia- A disease Christians suffer from which makes them see reality through a HUGE delusional lens in spite of all evidence showing them just how insane they are.

  3. What’s that saying? “Once you go black you never go back.” 😀

    Friday’s are way cooler. All the best with your lawsuit BF.

  4. Do you think that when Elvis was singing about his ‘Blue Christmas’ he was basically commenting on his time in Amsterdam?

  5. Tangled up in blue.

  6. Good writing

  7. Wow, this is so funny and clever and witty I could eat a baby!

  8. I just had to explain why I was laughing out loud…. damn!

Comments are closed.