If you loved the Atheist/Theist Squirting Ass Toy, if your sense of humor has gotten you convicted of a felony on more than one occasion, if you’re over 40 but still somewhere between 10 and 15 emotionally, then TACP has just the thing for you: Goo-Spraying Breasts. Goo-Spraying Breasts are life-like human mammary glands molded directly from the chest of “Mad Men’s” Christina Hendricks. Each large teat has a plastic bottle inside of it with a tube going from the bottle to the back of the enlarged aureola in the front.
The item comes with TACP’s own world-renowned Goo, made of crushed elephant tusks, ground newts, used cat litter, and a secret ingredient that congeals it all into a thick, smelly Goo.
Use your Goo-Spraying Breasts at Christmas dinner this year, and it’ll be a Christmas to remember for sure. Imagine the looks on your friends and families’ faces when you stand up at the dinner table, remove your shirt, and spray Goo all over the table and everyone seated at it from the life-like breasts no one knew you even had. HYSTERICAL!!!!! Goo Spraying Breasts are only $39.99, but if you act now, you can have BOTH the Atheist/Theist Squirting Ass Toy AND the Goo-Spraying Breasts for a one time payment of $49.99, or for two payments of $28.99. Also, if you act now, you’ll receive one free hour of legal counsel with TACP’s very own personal liability lawyer, The Ghost of Johnny Cochran, alone worth $52.49. So act now before supplies run out or the Government shuts us down.