“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” director, J.J. Abrams, announced this morning that he has cast the Higgs boson to play a key character in the upcoming sequel to “Star Wars”. “The Higgs boson popped up behind me yesterday as I was focusing a camera lens and practically begged me for a role in the film,” Abrams stated. “The subatomic particle claimed it had been a fan of ‘Star Wars’ since it first saw the original film in 1977. I couldn’t say no to it. Thus, I have given the boson a major speaking role in the movie. I can’t say what it is, but I assure you it will delight audiences of all ages and help long time fans forget the Prequels were ever made. The only set back to this is that the movie will now have to be viewed through a subatomic microscope due to the diminutive size of the Higgs boson. But it will be worth the inconvenience, I can assure you,” Abrams said.