Higgs Boson To Play Major Role In Star Wars: The Force Awakens

“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” director, J.J. Abrams, announced this morning that he has cast the Higgs boson to play a key character in the upcoming sequel to “Star Wars”. “The Higgs boson popped up behind me yesterday as I was focusing a camera lens and practically begged me for a role in the film,” Abrams stated. “The subatomic particle claimed it had been a fan of ‘Star Wars’ since it first saw the original film in 1977. I couldn’t say no to it. Thus, I have given the boson a major speaking role in the movie. I can’t say what it is, but I assure you it will delight audiences of all ages and help long time fans forget the Prequels were ever made. The only set back to this is that the movie will now have to be viewed through a subatomic microscope due to the diminutive size of the Higgs boson. But it will be worth the inconvenience, I can assure you,” Abrams said.

Higgs boson Asking Director J.J. Abrams For A Part In New Star Wars Movie

Higgs boson Asking Director J.J. Abrams For A Part In New Star Wars Movie

19 thoughts on “Higgs Boson To Play Major Role In Star Wars: The Force Awakens

  1. Can I have one of those really cool microscopes too?

    …and I’m curious, I have not recieved the Manual of Operations for newly appointed cardinals yet. I have all of this power and authority and don’t know what exactly to do with it yet. Who do I need to talk to?


    • I’ll send you one via carrier sparrow. I’m fresh outta delivery pigeons. And as for who to talk to about your power, you don’t need to talk to anyone. Just do whatever you want with it. Great thing about power is that those who wield it make the rules. Those without it get fucked. I love power. Oh, one more thing. The more you have TrueFaith that you are always right and others are always wrong, the better off you’ll be. Your conscious will always be clear, and your enemies will always be there to hate on divine authority. $Amen$


    • So that’s how that fucking works!


    • You bet yer fuckin’ ass it is! 😀


  2. I best get on to EBay and seek out a subatomic microscope then!


  3. Haha. Will the movie make any sales? Does it come with the subatomic microscope?


  4. In another quantum dimension, one of my alternate selves conversed with the Higgs boson. The guy is kind of a jerk (he loves his “god particle” nickname). He’s knows a lot of shit, but is reluctant to share it with anyone. He’s like a mad scientist turned CIA agent… very secretive and very intimidating. Lucas must have paid a fortune to get him.


  5. Congratulations, divine one. 😀


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