Do theists bother you? Do atheists just piss you off to no end? How ’bout agnostics? Does their lack of commitment to either side offend you? If you said “yes” to any of these questions, then we here at The Arm Chair Pontificator have created the perfect toy for you, just in time for Christmas: The Atheist/Theist Squirting Ass Toy!
The Atheist/Theist Squirting Ass Toy, $29.99
Simply fill the large rubber ass, modeled directly from Kim Kardashian’s very own plush derriere, with chocolate milk, and you’ll literally have hours of fun. Here’s how it works. Let’s say you’re a conservative Christian who’s just sick of the disrespect guys like me, The Arm Chair Pontificator, show you. All you have to do is fill your Ass Toy with chocolate milk, come to my office in downtown Manhattan, knock on the door, and blast me with chocolate milk from the Ass Toy when I open it. HILARIOUS! It’s as if you’re carrying around a real ass filled with endless streams of diarrhea for you to squirt on your enemies every time they piss you off. So, for those of you not afraid to have some crude, nasty fun at the expense of people you don’t like anyway, buy The Atheist/Theist Squirting Ass Toy from The Arm Chair Pontificator online shop. It’s only 29.99, that includes shipping, handling(but not too much), and a coupon for a free gallon of chocolate milk from Target. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Hahaha.
Your business ideas are ingenious!
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Thanks. I’ll send you a free squirting asses for free for the compliment.
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Thanks brother
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Don’t mention it. It’s my pleasure.
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One last prophet to another 😉
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The last ones, you and I. Well, at least we can bring an end to religious wars, eh? Now, how do we get EVERYONE to believe in just us? I got it! Believe or get a squirt from the Ass Toy!!!
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Hahaha! That there is a solution to the religious wars problem.
Have you read Scott Adam’s Religious Wars?
Did you finish on Schopenhauer?
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Schopenhauer was excellent. I’ll read more of him. He was rather pessimistic, but, I agree with much of what he says. Namely, that “fee will” simply doesn’t exist. I’ve not read Religious Wars but I’ll put it on my to read list.
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It’s a small book and with your busy schedule two afternoons will be enough to complete it.
I like the pessimism
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I’ll finish it in one, as I’m not busy except in my mind. I, too, like the pessimism. It is honest.
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Ewwwww!!! But, funny!
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Thanks. I’m here to bring laughs.
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Haha! I like that you’re making money off the atheist-haters by selling them the idea of squirting you 🙂 It’s all good!
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Yep. First I piss ’em off, then I make ’em pay me to get their revenge! I win twice. 😀
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Good to see you back posting and reading, BTW.
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I’ve been very bad…sorry 😦 I have a lot of good reading to catch up on!
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No need to apologize. It’s good to see you posting on your blog too. Most people aren’t like me. They have actual REAL lives to live which take up their time. Me? I do this. Hee Haw!!!!! 😀
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Tee-hee 🙂
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Love the squirting ass toy!!!
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Very popular item! Glad you like it.
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I’m fucking getting one! Fuck it, I’m getting two just in case I break the first one!
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I’ll ship ’em right out. There’s a Catholic nun I know who’s purchased 4 of them already cause she keeps wearing them out. Lots of enemies I guess.
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Well God bless her little worn out ass!
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$Amen$
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Ah, I see. We can’t have people penetrating their asses now can we? 😉
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Hell no! Don’t you read the fuckin’ Bible! Right to Hell, man! Right to Hell you’re going! 😀
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C’mon man, it ain’t a real ad until you toss in a set of Ginsu knives! Then offer them an Act Now! gimmick for a 2 for the price of one deal (with additional shipping/handling charge) Plus you forgot the easy payment plan! I expect better of you ACP 😉 details man details… I like the squirting ass gift concept though. A thoughtful inventive type might be able to figure out how to use watered down cow shit instead of chocolate milk for an extra kick to the effect…
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Look man, you can’t have Ginsu knives and The Squirting Ass together in the same ad. What if people bought both and played with both at the same time? They’d run the risk of puncturing their ass and ruining a perfectly good toy that they would have gotten YEARS of fun out of. There is another product pitch coming up with the 2 fer one sale pitch. The Squirting Ass is one, and the second? Stay tuned.
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Reblogged this on hitchens67 Atheism WOW!! Campaign and commented:
Awe inspiring!!
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And Fun for the whole family! Thx for the reblog.
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You bet and I’m getting one! Who wouldn’t want this?
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Only a fool my friend, only a fool.
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