Take Our Online Bigotry Course. Be The Best Bigot You Can Be!
(The following advertisement was paid for by the Republican Committee to impeach President Obama for his devout Muslim and atheist beliefs.)
Are you a white liberal who’s grown tired of the same old leftist agenda day in and day out? Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior and now have a deep disdain for gays and women who believe they actually have a right to their own bodies? Do you feel it is your god given right to shoot any black, teenage hoodie wearer who takes more than 30 seconds to pass through your neighborhood? If you answered yes to any of these questions, the new Tea Party online bigotry course is just the thing for you. With the online Tea Party bigotry course, you will learn how to conceal your true disdain for minorities, gays, atheists, and evolutionary biologists behind a veneer of fancy suits, big cars, religious gibberish, and large, fake smiles. We will also teach you how to hire illegal Hispanic laborers for only a quarter a day while, at the same time, publicly feign outrage at the porous nature of our Southern most borders.
Sign up now for the Tea Party online bigotry course and receive a free copy of Mel Gibson’s “Passion of the Christ” along with two free “Jesus Hates Fags, Jews, and Liberals” T-Shirts. Become the bigot you’ve always wanted to be. Go to TeaPartyAin’t4Fags.com to sign up today. You’ll be glad you did. And so will your mother.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Well…I already took these courses in catholic school. Will this give me a master’s degree, and is it accredited? I’m always looking for ways to boost my fake resume. Thx.
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I took them in Catholic school too. However, the statute of limitations on them runs out after 5 years so you’ll need to take ’em over. Sorry.
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You’re online course ad failed to mention ALL of that! I think you may be a lawyer. And to think, I was just about to sign up. You probably would have hit me up for all the prep courses as well. Do you think I’m made of money? I’ll go learn how to be a better bigot somewhere else! Like maybe FOX news.
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Not my ad, the Tea Party just paid me to run it for them. However, Fox News is a stellar substitute for any bigotry class the Tea Party is teaching. Hell, Fox News, IMO, has ’em beat dead to rights.
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Maybe you could run a course on ‘How to get Paid by Bigots’ to sell their bigotry. I’d definitely sign up for that one. I’m always looking for ways to boost my fake career as well.
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Great idea. I’ll look into it. I have 14 fake careers going at the moment. Kinda tire me out, but, hey, someone’s gotta do it.
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I have never been able to wrap my head around Obama being both an atheist and a muslim
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It’s because the idiots that say it have absolutely no clue as to what they’re talking about. Conservative chowder-heads are the finest examples of idiots you can find anywhere in the galaxy.
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Mark Twain would describe them as idiots of the first degree
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He’s one of my idols.
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I like that man. Have you read his decline in the art of lying?
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I haven’t. I will though. He’s one of if not the best satirists who ever lived. Jonathan Swift is another I greatly enjoy. His “Modest Proposal” is the inspiration for my cannibal themed posts.
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I haven’t read Jonathan Swift. MT was a real genius. I have had fun with his books.
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Twain’s writings on religion and the bible are great and “Huckleberry Finn” is perhaps the best American novel ever written.
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I loved that book. His letters from the earth and eve’s diary are hilarious. They should be made part of school curriculum everywhere but especially so in the christian infested world
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I agree.
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How does Obama have time to be an atheist and a Muslim? He is so busy being the anitchrist.
Be careful of what Mak suggests you go off and read. He turned me on to Ingersoll just recently and I’m still reading his stuff every time I get the chance! A curse I tell you, a good curse, but still…
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Read Swift too, if you like Twain. “A Modest Proposal” is a blast. Swift passed it out as a pamphlet without indicating it was satire. Had a riotous effect.
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I forgot he was also busy in his capacity as antichrist.
I am glad Ingersoll has captivated you. When you finish with him read Joseph Lewis
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And after Joseph Lewis, read Jerry Lewis follow it closely with a dash of Dean Martin, and BANG! You’ve got yourself a party!!
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And whenever he needs a breather, Mark Twain.
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Or Sam Clemens, he’s just as good. 😀
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Agreed Clemens is just as good. A great satirist
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I gather you know how Twain chose his pen name?
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Blamey! Never bothered to find out
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Clemens came up with it whilst on a boat. Mark Twain is a nautical term. It is a measurement of how deep the water is your craft is sitting on.
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Ah. Thanks man.
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Cheers.
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Cheers
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Did you hear that beer can open?
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A toast to friendship and good cheer
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Indeed. Or, as Jerry Lewis once said, “HEY, LAAAAAAAAADDDDYYYY!!!!!”
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I would be curious to read a philosophy book written by Jerry Lewis, though, curious, and just a tad scared.
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LMAO!
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Thanks! Glad you’re laughing!
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When you live in the south, these are your regular church going “good x-ians.” Rotten to the fucking core, and bleating about how great they are, and oh so much how they love them some jebus.
This is a funny post man, I want to laugh, I just can’t. Every time I step outside these are the people I have to contend with.
I’m not going to do it, I’m not going to do it, I’m not…you misspelled borders dammit! Unless boarders are people who go around whacking each other with boards? 😉 Feel free to get me back when the opportunity arises, and it does often…
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Thanks again for the edit. I won’t get you back. You’re helpin’ out. It’s funny because it’s so sadly true. Idiots like the ones I mock here are walking, living, real bits of satire. Scary and funny, but oh so true.
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You live in the South? Poor you. I’d go nuttier than I already am if I lived there.
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Cracking! I can take “Beating up Puppies” for extra credit?
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Sure thing, but you can only beat up black and brown puppies. Leave the white ones alone. 😀
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Hahahah, you’re on a roll tonight. 😀
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Thanks. Reminds me of Terri Garr’s song in “Young Frankenstein,” Roll, roll, roll in da hay!”
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LOL
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One of my all time favorite comedies that movie is, that and “Monty Python And The Holy Grail.” “Bring out…the Holy hand grenade!”
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My favorite was The Meaning of Life — “Every sperm is sacred.” Both are awesome.
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That one’s good too, as is “Life of Brian.”
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Yes! 😀
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“Life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it!”
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LOVE IT!!!!!
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Well, that goes without saying, doesn’t it.
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Just testing you, man. Just testing you. Gotta make sure you’re on the right page with the “Party.”
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Positively. Can’t harm the pure driven snow; gods treasures. The stained one’s are fine… It’s what Gawd wants, right 🙂
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Absolutely!
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LMAO!
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Thought you’d like that. I fight back with the only weapon I have: my wit.
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I have tears in my eyes. My side hurts.
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Awesome! My favorite type of compliment.
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You make it ‘hurt so good’.
Yeah, lame but no other way to describe it.
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That’s why I’m here! Makin’ it hurt in a good way!
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Ya done good!
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😀
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Victoria that just brought an image to the mind I can’t print here 🙂
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Those are the best kinds of images to have. 🙂
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Not in the morning while listening to boring presentations on public procurement 😦
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Good point.
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LOL — this is the Divine 1’s blog, of course you can print it here. 😈
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That’s what I told him.
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So I see. I was answering from the little message box and didn’t see it initially. 😉
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Now I’m super curious as to what the f*ck this image is! Mak, you gotta tell us! Please, brother. I gots ta know!
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Me too — I suspect it’s sex related. Am I right, Noel? Huh, huh? 😈
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I suspect the same thing.
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Haha Victoria. I will let you create the image yourself
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What a cop-out. 😛
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Better then a cop in. Last time a cop came in I went out in hand cuffs. 😀
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OMGawd. I won’t ask for details. 😀
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Me neither. Don’t want another cop-in cause of me havin’ nasty doodles on the blog.
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I hear ya. LOL
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Haha dear. We can draw the image together then. I propose you start.
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Nono — you start first. You were the one who first brought it up, no pun intended.
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Haha…. in my village we let the older ones teach young ones
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Crickets. 😀
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I’m not even going to ask.
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Meaning — where’s Noel?
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Just crack open a beer if you want him. His ears are THAT good.
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Hahahah. OK
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It’ll work for me, too, but I’m not as far away as he is so it isn’t as impressive.
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Crikey! Half the neighborhood is at my door after I played that!
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LMAO
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