Yoda dropped by the Creation Museum the other day to discuss Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” with its owner, Ken Ham. Below is a word for word transcript of their conversation. Enjoy.
Ken: Welcome, Yoda. Glad you could come by. However, and I hate to be a party pooper, I must insist you come down off that T-Rex statue. It is a very expensive piece of Museum property, and I really do not want it contaminated by a non-believer like you touching it.
Yoda: Sorry I am. Down I will come. But non-believer, I am not. Powerful I am. For my ally is the Force. Surrounds us it does. Judge us, it does not. Guide you it will. If listen to it, you do.
Ken: BLASPHEMER! ATHEIST DOG! How dare you speak of any force but the Bible? How dare you speak of any power but that of our lord, Jesus Christ! How dare you say you come from a galaxy far, far away when no galaxies exist but this 6000 year old one. And lastly, how dare you stand there munching on a candy bar while I’m teaching you the only dogma of truth there is: mine!
Yoda: Angry you are. Great hate I sense in you. Strong you will become in the Dark Side, if down this path you continue. But digress, I do. For a movie it is I’ve come to discuss. “Guardians of the Galaxy” it is, and fun it was to see. Away from reality it took me. Enjoyed it greatly, I did. See it, did you? Like it, did you?
Ken: See it, did I? What kind of atheistic, devil-spawned speech pattern of a spell are you trying to cast on me, my little green friend? A movie you want to discuss with me, eh? A movie about demons and stars and sexual deviancy, that’s what that movie is. It’s an evil film that mocks the one true lord, Jesus Christ, by failing to mention the glory of his ways even once. It is a movie that subliminally advocates homosexual marriage, abortion, and liberal, democratic view points. And these things I know about it from having just seen the previews. I refuse to see such a piece of filth in its entirety. You enjoyed it only because you are a hell-born demon and not a Christian genius of the modern world, like me. THAT is what I think of your movie, demon-spawn!
Yoda: Crazy, you are. Grounded in reality, you are not. If the Dark Side I practiced, kill you I would. Lucky you are. For my way is the way of the Force. Calm it makes me. Open to reason, I am. This is the way of the Jedi. This is the way of the Force. So leave you, I will. Discuss with you movies, I will not. Sorry, I am, for wasting your time. Go now, I will. Peace I hope you find. May the Force be with you. (Yoda disappears into the Force)
Ken: DEMON!! Devil from Hell! Disappearing in front of me before accepting Jesus as your lord and savior and before donating money to my tax-exempt museum! Heathen! Monster! Little green dude! Goodbye! Do not return. I will not discuss any movie again with anyone unless they share my Creationist beliefs and the movie we discuss is “The Passion of the Christ”. Goodbye from the Creation Museum, and always remember, gays are evil, and Jesus loves everyone. Amen