Here’s a list of some amazing gadgets I’ve invented for which I’ve awarded myself the Nobel Prize.
1.) Gasoline powered basketballs that play an entire game all by themselves with only a single fill up and no players.
Gasoline Powered Basket Balls Eliminate Need For Players
2.) Chinchilla condoms: Designed to make her happy while keeping you warm.
Chinchilla Condoms Give Both Size & Warmth To Your Johnson
3.) Rape-Free Catholic Priest Robots: They do all the work a regular priest does minus the pedophile rape.
Guaranteed NOT To Rape Even The Cutest Of Little Boys
4.) Salt-encrusted band aids for people whose boo-boos you don’t really want to see heal.
Warning: Use Only On Your Enemies, OUCH!!!
5.) Goldfish polish. A happy goldfish is one that glistens.
One Goldfish, Freshly Polished
6.) Solar powered cats that require no food or water, ever. Just give them 8 to 9 hours of sun light every day, and they’ll last for decades.
Solar Powered Cats Act Just Like Non-Solar Powered Cats & Require No Food Or Water
7.) King cobras that seek out and bite only KKK members.
KKK Killing Cobras: They Just HATE Racist Bigots!
8.) Rat-hair socks. 20 rats go into the making of each pair.
Put Rats To A Good Use: Wear Rat-Hair Socks
9.) Battery/AC powered panties for the woman who prefers to do everything herself.
Keep Your Privy Parts Juicy With Battery/AC Powered Panties
Above items can be purchased for just 8.99 each at the ACP online shop. Thanks for reading, and thank you for not smoking while the ride was in motion.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
That robot pope is a great idea. But, would you maybe have to not let it get your electronics alone?
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Yes. You couldn’t leave it alone with the toaster, especially one younger than ten. Good point.
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Rat hair socks??? Eeewwwwww!!!
But i’ll take a box of salt encrusted bandaids please.
And please let me know when you have a promo on the goldfish polish.
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Will do, and thanks.
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I have missed this! You sure are good at this my good mate
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Thank you kindly. And remember, Jesus loves you as long as you only hate the people he tells you to. 😀
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Hate them that hate you, is it that one or there is another one my teacher? 😀
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Hate them you understand the least; then have a drink. If only more would follow this. Jesus and his followers are SO smart!
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Thank you my good teacher, I should have met you much earlier, my learning would be complete by now.
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I was off in a galaxy far, far away teaching people there about the ways of the force.
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That explains our late meeting, but all is not lost. I learn very fast teacher
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You’re a great student, my young padawan learner.
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That is very encouraging good teacher
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I’ll take that robot priest, see if I can reprogram it to become a pastafarian;)
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It’s in the mail and on its way.
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I like no 7 the most (king cobras are my favourite animal!) and what is more exciting than killing KKK-people?
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Not much!
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I’ll take eight Chinchilla condoms, please. Can you wrap those in Wallabies and have them shipped?
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They’re on their way.
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Good man!
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