Are you a Christian who’s annoyed at the existence of birth control products? Would you like to eradicate them completely and send humanity back into the stone age in terms of its reproductive health? Well then, we here at Christians Inc. have just the product for you: Condom Away-a new aerosol product designed to evaporate condoms, birth control pills, and any other product ever created to prevent pregnancy or an STD with one simple spray. Here’s how it works. Let’s say you suspect a store in your area is selling birth control products. Simply walk into the store, take out your can of Condom Away, and spray once into the air. The fresh smelling lemon scent will drift throughout the store attaching itself to any and all birth control products and evaporate them completely within minutes. No one need ever know you were there. Don’t let the laws of your faith be abused and ignored by those around you. Be a good Christian and buy your can of Condom Away today. Together, we can wipe out birth control once and for all and make the world the way our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ wants it to be: full of pregnant teenage girls and millions of people sick and dying from a sexually transmitted disease. Act now and receive a free Jesus Hates Fags t-shirt with each purchase. And remember, nothing you do is wrong, as long as it’s done in Jesus’ name.