The New U.S. Constitution
In order to keep up with the demand that god and faith become more incorporated, legally speaking, into the daily lives of Americans, Congress today voted that Islamic Law now become the ONLY law in America. “Yeah,” said Congressman and Sheikh, Joe Doohicky of Virginia, “we in Congress just got tired of all this bitchin’ and moanin’ over what exactly is and what exactly isn’t separation of church and state. So, we decided to toss out the state part all together and make America Islamic by law. Things are just bloody simpler this way. Why Islam, you ask? The answer is easy: because there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet. Let me repeat that for you, just so there’s no confusion, OK? There is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet. This means, that as of tomorrow, July fourth, no religion but Islam can be practiced or even mentioned by any American citizen ever again. Anyone doing so will be immediately stoned to death. As well, every American female will now keep her face completely covered when in public. We don’t want women, the temptresses of Satan, encouraging decent men to rape them with their demonic faces and seductive eyes. Women not following this law will be put to death by stoning. Immediately.
Follow The Law, Or Else
Remember this, and all will be well: there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet. We followers of Allah, who make up the Congress of the United States, have killed every member of the Supreme Court and the President. As well, we’ve taken total control of the military and will nuke any state that does not comply with this new law. We, your Islamic Congress, are now everything to you, America, like it or not. We wish you, and your loved ones, a very blessed, Islamic, Fourth of July. It is the day America will remember as the day it truly became one nation under one god, Allah. The right religion has finally been made into the law of the land. There is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Oh chit — I meant WY not WU which was support to be YW..
I also meant to write wrote not wrpte.
I give up.
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No worries. As you know, I do the same shit all the time. Your brain is working faster than you can type is all, at least that’s what I tell myself. 🙂
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LOL — I’m paranoid sometimes because of grammar/spelling Nazis like Arch. The turd. 😀
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Yeah. Well, grammar and spelling, especially in written English, were about as arbitrarily chosen as you can get. The “rules” of English grammar were put in place during the Neo-classic period of the 18th century. They were modeled after Latin grammar rules. Languages, written and spoken are living changing things. They grow and evolve. Being a stickler for “perfect” grammar, which really does not exist, in comment sections of blog posts is a sign of a person having WAY too much time on his or her hands. Love always, Sheih Pontificatius, the Unshaven.
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LOL — true that.
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Amen. Yours in Allah, Sheikh Pontificatius, the Unshaven. I LOVE that ending!!!! Gonna use it all the time! Lord, how childish and silly I am!
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There was one blogger who never posts comments in my blog bit commented just a few minutes after I published the post — for the sole purpose of pointing out that had misspell a word in my title. I kid you not. The funny thing is — it was a setup — a friend and I had a bet to see how long it would take for Arch to bring it to my attention. We laughed our asses off when this other guy took the bait. 😈
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Arch seems to be a very bright fellow. Perhaps he’s an editor and thinks about such things a lot. Or, an academic. Academics I dislike almost as much as theists. They live in white walled world separate from reality and pontificate about stuff a lot. Like me. 😀
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Hahah — Arch is like me — an autodidact. We got in a tiff a while back on Violet’s blog when he pointed out a typo on something silly. We made amends, but I like to poke and jest with him from time to time to keep him humble. 😀
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Frankly, I’m such a prude that I think the only pure, real English is Old English or Anglo-Saxon. Thus, anyone who isn’t writing and speaking in it is writing and speaking in a terribly bastardized form of English. Hee Haw!!!!
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Giddy-up y’all.
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Amen.
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Have you heard this yet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3WLCmXS2G0? Un-fucking-believable!!!!
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Yes — I updated my post (at the bottom) on Wednesday after I read about it. This is fascism but no one wants to acknowledge it. In recent SC rulings over the past two weeks, look at #5, 8 and 9 — but all 14 points can be recognized in America.
http://www.ellensplace.net/fascism.html
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Stunning. I’m so outraged, I’m speechless.
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3 corporations including Walmart were selling this poster and they were oblivious?
Yeah right.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/07/08/walmart-sorry-for-selling-decorative-nazi-work-makes-you-free-poster/
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Unreal. Totally unreal. I don’t know what to say anymore. If Walmart were selling a sign that read “Support atheism: Keep religion out of politics,” there would be protests, crucifixions and live burnings. Sell a Nazi death camp sign, which affected millions of Jews, and you get a “We’re Sorry,” and that’s the end of it. Stunning. America is going quicker and quicker down the fascist toilet.
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Yep. 😦
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They claimed they didn’t know too. Yeah. And people can be crucified and rise from the dead 3 days later. Fuck.
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LOL — I have to laugh because if I don’t I will cry.
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LOL — I wrote WU but meant to write YW. as in –> you’re welcome.
You just found out that I am dyslexic. 😛
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That’s OK. I’m crazy. 😀
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Hahah — who isn’t?
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I want to say ‘Amen’ to this post, but I fear that sounds too Christian:S
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You can say it. I’ve christened myself Sheikh Pontificatius and I determine it is OK to say amen after Islamic sayings. Amen.
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Well, Amen then…Nothing mocks Christianity by setting the US back a couple of generations!
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No. Nothing does. Amen. Love, Sheikh Pontificatius, The Wise n Hymer.
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Well, almost nothing…baby eating atheists do a pretty decent job at mocking Christianity too;)
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Yes they do.
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waves to Arend
Leaves a dash of red pepper for Jeff
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Thank you, my friend.
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WY 😉
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Where those members of congress threatened or bribed by Sharia4USA?
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Could be. Either way, America got what it wanted: a religious country.
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You should make a highway sign out of this. I suggest renting sign space near a mega church. You can invite friends to a picnic under the sign and watch the heads pop as file faithful file in.
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Great idea. Might cause some serious accidents, but, atheist bastard that I am, I won’t mind all that much. 🙂
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I suggest you forget the picnic and open a faith heading shop under the sign.
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Or perhaps I could open a stone shop under it. I’ll sell stones for stoning people breaking the new Islamic law of the U.S. That should make the christian fundies VERY happy.
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OH YEAH!
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😀
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Jeff, you rock. Thank you! Monday, June 30, 2014 was a day/date which will live in infamy. There is nothing to celebrate tomorrow. NOTHING!
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Absolutely. Un-fucking believable.
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Here’s my comment to someone on the ruling:This ruling frightens me. The fact that it doesn’t frighten you is even more frightening.
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Good comment. I often think until something like my post here actually happens, people won’t get just how fucking bad this is. Fuck!
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I see people debating the technicalities of it and missing the spirit of it. I’m like, you people obviously don’t understand precedent. You’re too stupid to know what is happening to you.
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Right. The precedent here is the religious beliefs of your boss or bosses dictate what your rights are working for him, her, or them, REGARDLESS of what those beliefs are. Un-fucking believable that so many can’t see this. Americans just can’t think.
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I hope some Muslim nutter petitions the court, citing this precedent…. Oh how I hope it happens!
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Oh, I do too! Please! What fucking idiots we have here as the Supreme Court! Also, Hobby Lobby’s insurance still covers vasectomies and Viagra; so, the ruling ONLY affects WOMEN!!! Fuck this! God damn, I’m pissed!!!
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You have every right to be.
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And I’ll bitch about a lot on here. Damn these stupid idiots!!!
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And so you should be pissed! This is some crazy shizzzz…
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Ain’t it though! Ugh!!!
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Reblogged this on The Daily Pause and commented:
Well, y’all don’t want to piss-off Muslims, either, eh? America must separate religion and state, period – or else. Amen!
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Absolutely. That be’s my point, and if’in I piss off Muslims as well as christians, Amen. Thanks for the reblogg.
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While I thought that the religion of America has become and the supreme court are its agents.
Sad.
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You’re missing the satire of this, methinks.
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I understood you quite well. This following the sc ruling that companies have religions or something of that kind
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Ridiculous ruling, was it not? What a court we have here.
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It is. I don’t know where it will stop but I imagine a Christian Scientist saying all medicare is against his religion and as such no cover. What will the sc do?
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That’s the precedent this ruling sets. What difference is there between a christian scientist denying coverage for all medicine to his employees based on his religion and this ruling? None. Complete bullshit.
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Happy Independence Day America.
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LOL
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The supreme court and congress are christian supporters. To make a religion OTHER than christianity the rule of the land would piss them off to no end. That’s what we’re all about here at TACP, pissin’ off christians. Why? Welp, god told us to. Amen.
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Amen to that!
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And Hallelujah!
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