In order to keep up with the demand that god and faith become more incorporated, legally speaking, into the daily lives of Americans, Congress today voted that Islamic Law now become the ONLY law in America. “Yeah,” said Congressman and Sheikh, Joe Doohicky of Virginia, “we in Congress just got tired of all this bitchin’ and moanin’ over what exactly is and what exactly isn’t separation of church and state. So, we decided to toss out the state part all together and make America Islamic by law. Things are just bloody simpler this way. Why Islam, you ask? The answer is easy: because there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet. Let me repeat that for you, just so there’s no confusion, OK? There is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet. This means, that as of tomorrow, July fourth, no religion but Islam can be practiced or even mentioned by any American citizen ever again. Anyone doing so will be immediately stoned to death. As well, every American female will now keep her face completely covered when in public. We don’t want women, the temptresses of Satan, encouraging decent men to rape them with their demonic faces and seductive eyes. Women not following this law will be put to death by stoning. Immediately.
Remember this, and all will be well: there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet. We followers of Allah, who make up the Congress of the United States, have killed every member of the Supreme Court and the President. As well, we’ve taken total control of the military and will nuke any state that does not comply with this new law. We, your Islamic Congress, are now everything to you, America, like it or not. We wish you, and your loved ones, a very blessed, Islamic, Fourth of July. It is the day America will remember as the day it truly became one nation under one god, Allah. The right religion has finally been made into the law of the land. There is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet.”
Oh chit — I meant WY not WU which was support to be YW..
I also meant to write wrote not wrpte.
I give up.
LikeLike
No worries. As you know, I do the same shit all the time. Your brain is working faster than you can type is all, at least that’s what I tell myself. 🙂
LikeLike
LOL — I’m paranoid sometimes because of grammar/spelling Nazis like Arch. The turd. 😀
LikeLike
Yeah. Well, grammar and spelling, especially in written English, were about as arbitrarily chosen as you can get. The “rules” of English grammar were put in place during the Neo-classic period of the 18th century. They were modeled after Latin grammar rules. Languages, written and spoken are living changing things. They grow and evolve. Being a stickler for “perfect” grammar, which really does not exist, in comment sections of blog posts is a sign of a person having WAY too much time on his or her hands. Love always, Sheih Pontificatius, the Unshaven.
LikeLike
LOL — true that.
LikeLike
Amen. Yours in Allah, Sheikh Pontificatius, the Unshaven. I LOVE that ending!!!! Gonna use it all the time! Lord, how childish and silly I am!
LikeLike
There was one blogger who never posts comments in my blog bit commented just a few minutes after I published the post — for the sole purpose of pointing out that had misspell a word in my title. I kid you not. The funny thing is — it was a setup — a friend and I had a bet to see how long it would take for Arch to bring it to my attention. We laughed our asses off when this other guy took the bait. 😈
LikeLike
Arch seems to be a very bright fellow. Perhaps he’s an editor and thinks about such things a lot. Or, an academic. Academics I dislike almost as much as theists. They live in white walled world separate from reality and pontificate about stuff a lot. Like me. 😀
LikeLike
Hahah — Arch is like me — an autodidact. We got in a tiff a while back on Violet’s blog when he pointed out a typo on something silly. We made amends, but I like to poke and jest with him from time to time to keep him humble. 😀
LikeLike
Frankly, I’m such a prude that I think the only pure, real English is Old English or Anglo-Saxon. Thus, anyone who isn’t writing and speaking in it is writing and speaking in a terribly bastardized form of English. Hee Haw!!!!
LikeLike
Giddy-up y’all.
LikeLike
Amen.
LikeLike
Have you heard this yet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3WLCmXS2G0? Un-fucking-believable!!!!
LikeLike
Yes — I updated my post (at the bottom) on Wednesday after I read about it. This is fascism but no one wants to acknowledge it. In recent SC rulings over the past two weeks, look at #5, 8 and 9 — but all 14 points can be recognized in America.
http://www.ellensplace.net/fascism.html
LikeLike
Stunning. I’m so outraged, I’m speechless.
LikeLike
3 corporations including Walmart were selling this poster and they were oblivious?
Yeah right.
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/07/08/walmart-sorry-for-selling-decorative-nazi-work-makes-you-free-poster/
LikeLike
Unreal. Totally unreal. I don’t know what to say anymore. If Walmart were selling a sign that read “Support atheism: Keep religion out of politics,” there would be protests, crucifixions and live burnings. Sell a Nazi death camp sign, which affected millions of Jews, and you get a “We’re Sorry,” and that’s the end of it. Stunning. America is going quicker and quicker down the fascist toilet.
LikeLike
Yep. 😦
LikeLike
They claimed they didn’t know too. Yeah. And people can be crucified and rise from the dead 3 days later. Fuck.
LikeLike
LOL — I have to laugh because if I don’t I will cry.
LikeLike
LOL — I wrote WU but meant to write YW. as in –> you’re welcome.
You just found out that I am dyslexic. 😛
LikeLike
That’s OK. I’m crazy. 😀
LikeLike
Hahah — who isn’t?
LikeLike
I want to say ‘Amen’ to this post, but I fear that sounds too Christian:S
LikeLike
You can say it. I’ve christened myself Sheikh Pontificatius and I determine it is OK to say amen after Islamic sayings. Amen.
LikeLike
Well, Amen then…Nothing mocks Christianity by setting the US back a couple of generations!
LikeLike
No. Nothing does. Amen. Love, Sheikh Pontificatius, The Wise n Hymer.
LikeLike
Well, almost nothing…baby eating atheists do a pretty decent job at mocking Christianity too;)
LikeLike
Yes they do.
LikeLike
waves to Arend
Leaves a dash of red pepper for Jeff
LikeLike
Thank you, my friend.
LikeLike
WY 😉
LikeLike
Where those members of congress threatened or bribed by Sharia4USA?
LikeLike
Could be. Either way, America got what it wanted: a religious country.
LikeLike
You should make a highway sign out of this. I suggest renting sign space near a mega church. You can invite friends to a picnic under the sign and watch the heads pop as file faithful file in.
LikeLike
Great idea. Might cause some serious accidents, but, atheist bastard that I am, I won’t mind all that much. 🙂
LikeLike
I suggest you forget the picnic and open a faith heading shop under the sign.
LikeLike
Or perhaps I could open a stone shop under it. I’ll sell stones for stoning people breaking the new Islamic law of the U.S. That should make the christian fundies VERY happy.
LikeLike
OH YEAH!
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike
Jeff, you rock. Thank you! Monday, June 30, 2014 was a day/date which will live in infamy. There is nothing to celebrate tomorrow. NOTHING!
LikeLike
Absolutely. Un-fucking believable.
LikeLike
Here’s my comment to someone on the ruling:This ruling frightens me. The fact that it doesn’t frighten you is even more frightening.
LikeLike
Good comment. I often think until something like my post here actually happens, people won’t get just how fucking bad this is. Fuck!
LikeLike
I see people debating the technicalities of it and missing the spirit of it. I’m like, you people obviously don’t understand precedent. You’re too stupid to know what is happening to you.
LikeLike
Right. The precedent here is the religious beliefs of your boss or bosses dictate what your rights are working for him, her, or them, REGARDLESS of what those beliefs are. Un-fucking believable that so many can’t see this. Americans just can’t think.
LikeLike
I hope some Muslim nutter petitions the court, citing this precedent…. Oh how I hope it happens!
LikeLike
Oh, I do too! Please! What fucking idiots we have here as the Supreme Court! Also, Hobby Lobby’s insurance still covers vasectomies and Viagra; so, the ruling ONLY affects WOMEN!!! Fuck this! God damn, I’m pissed!!!
LikeLike
You have every right to be.
LikeLike
And I’ll bitch about a lot on here. Damn these stupid idiots!!!
LikeLike
And so you should be pissed! This is some crazy shizzzz…
LikeLike
Ain’t it though! Ugh!!!
LikeLike
Reblogged this on The Daily Pause and commented:
Well, y’all don’t want to piss-off Muslims, either, eh? America must separate religion and state, period – or else. Amen!
LikeLike
Absolutely. That be’s my point, and if’in I piss off Muslims as well as christians, Amen. Thanks for the reblogg.
LikeLike
While I thought that the religion of America has become and the supreme court are its agents.
Sad.
LikeLike
You’re missing the satire of this, methinks.
LikeLike
I understood you quite well. This following the sc ruling that companies have religions or something of that kind
LikeLike
Ridiculous ruling, was it not? What a court we have here.
LikeLike
It is. I don’t know where it will stop but I imagine a Christian Scientist saying all medicare is against his religion and as such no cover. What will the sc do?
LikeLike
That’s the precedent this ruling sets. What difference is there between a christian scientist denying coverage for all medicine to his employees based on his religion and this ruling? None. Complete bullshit.
LikeLike
Happy Independence Day America.
LikeLike
LOL
LikeLike
The supreme court and congress are christian supporters. To make a religion OTHER than christianity the rule of the land would piss them off to no end. That’s what we’re all about here at TACP, pissin’ off christians. Why? Welp, god told us to. Amen.
LikeLike
Amen to that!
LikeLike
And Hallelujah!
LikeLike