Joe Eisenberg: Animal Poop Cleaner On Noah’s Ark
Joe Eisenberg, the zoo keeper responsible for cleaning animal cages on
Noah’s Ark, ended several thousand years of silence today when he
appeared on The Tonight Show, and announced, “I’m the
guy ‘The Bible’ writers conveniently forgot to mention when writing the
Ark story. They left me out cause I did the all dirty work that no one
likes to think about. Literally, ALL the dirty work! I mean 40 days
and 40 nights of rain, PLUS months of drifting around looking for dry
land, and NO ONE thinks to mention the guy who scoops the poop out of
all those animal cages? Just imagine the stench if I hadn’t been around to
keep things tidy. And Noah was not the most considerate ship’s captain
around either. One night he gets piss drunk on some kind of grain
alcohol he’d made and feeds the elephants chocolate, just for laughs.
CHOCOLATE for God’s sake! The mess was UNBELIEVABLE!!!! And who
cleaned it up? Noah? Nope. Me. I’ve stayed silent for several thousand years now, but it’s time I had my 15 minutes of fame for all the shit
I had to deal with back then. Literally. So like it or not folks, here I am, Joe
Eisenberg, the animal poop cleaner for Noah’s Ark.”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
They always forget the little guy – I’m guessing generations on his became the first socialists.
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Bet you’re right. And Noah is the inventor of grain alcohol.
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I often wonder how Noah coped on the ark when the elephants, sperm whales and rhino’s were all shagging at the same time – must have been like being out in a force 8 gale.
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Impossible to imagine, isn’t it?
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Not sure as I just imagined it! Then again it is Friday and the red wine is flowing!
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Impossible not to imagine things when the red wine is flowing, isn’t it?
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Many people forget to mention their slaves/servants. This is today even worse, since in these times our slaves lives thousands of kilometers away from us.
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Very true. Too true, actually. And sad how few realize this.
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It’s really said, especially in this age of robot labour.
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I’m bettin’ it’s a cost thing. Cheaper to have 8 year old Asian kids making 500.00 gym shoes than robots. Just a guess, but I bet I’m right.
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So do I.
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It’s the same reasoning used by big oil companies for not switching over to other energy sources, too expensive to convert everything. Unfortunately, for our children and grand children, the cost of our continued use of fossil fuel will be the quality of their very lives. It’s such a shame so many in our species are so blind.
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You’re so right.
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I’ve often imagined that this guy would be knee deep!
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Yep. That’s what I’m here for. To fill you in on the stuff theists would never think about, like animal shit and such.
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Reblogged this on hitchens67 Atheism WOW!! Campaign.
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Another unsung hero
.
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