Texas In Space And Free Of Liberals At Last
Like a date who keeps sticking her tongue in your mouth while you’re trying to watch a movie, it is time Texas be asked to go sit on another couch. Really, enough already. Our ancestors didn’t come out of a fucking cave to eventually be forced back into one. If Texas were gone, it would not only be better for the rest of America, but for it as well. Texas would be free of pesky-ass, liberal assholes like me who think the death penalty is wrong, women actually have a right to their own bodies, and guns need to be banned. They could lock chastity devices on women, make everyone go to church, the RIGHT church of course, and they could freely kill any person they deemed was evil or wearing a hoodie. And I have come up with a great idea on how we can cut Texas free that will make everyone involved happy.
Let’s put rockets under the bedrock of Texas and blast it off into space!!! It would never have to see us again, and we’d never have to see it. It would be its own planet practically. And if this works, and why wouldn’t it, we could do the same thing to Florida too. Amen and Hallelujah!
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Reblogged this on Monkey Prodigy and commented:
I could definitely get behind this.
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Thanks for the reblog. Much appreciated.
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If only we had the technology to make this happen…Better get NASA to work on this: “Houston, we’ve got a problem: it’s you!”
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That’s hilarious.
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As was your post;)
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Why thank you kindly, Sir.
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Well, they are slowly killing off their citizens with fracking. I watched a documentary about it not long ago. In one town alone — Dish, TX — 11 high-pressure gas pipelines and their associated compressor stations all converge. Residents there have reported serious health impacts and severely degraded air quality.
So if they keep this chit up — there will be no need to remove TX. It will be one big ass graveyard.
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What a shame. I feel just awful about that news. 😀
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Yeah, but you know what? The fucktards that should be the ones dying are the very ones who will make damn sure they are not affected by their inhumanity. They will be the ones supplying the millions of body bags and make a profit from it.
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You’re right. And I’m sure Bush will be one of the ones profiting.
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Yep. Jebus loves him.
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what ever happened to Jeb Bush, former Florida Governor? Sure he’s gotta be up to some bullshit.
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Last I heard he was thinking about running for President. He’s got to keep up with the Jones’, I mean Bush’s.
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Great. That sounds just great.
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Don’t it? Gives me the warm fuzzies all over.
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/23/jeb-bush-president_n_5200585.html
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Go Hilary!!!
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Won’t happen. This hyper-masculine country is not ready for a woman president.
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I didn’t think we’d have a black president either, but he won. Twice. So maybe she could win in spite of the misogyny in our country. Whoever’s gonna run, they’d better start now.
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True.
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I don’t know about Texas, but as a Liberal-Ass Canadian who has lived in South Florida, a bastion of sanity in a vast, swampy morass of backwardness, I would ask that you spare everything from Palm Beach down, including the Keys. The rest is fair game…
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Since you put it so nicely, will do. 😀
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Laughing my ass off! There are many Texans who would agree. We get to keep NASA right? Oh and the Cowboy Cheerleaders.
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You can keep NASA, but I WANT the cheerleaders!
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OK But you have to take Senator Cruz too. Oh and Rick Perry as well.
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Never mind. Keep the damn girls!
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I knew that would work. Hehehe
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But of course you did. Ugh!
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