Like a date who keeps sticking her tongue in your mouth while you’re trying to watch a movie, it is time Texas be asked to go sit on another couch. Really, enough already. Our ancestors didn’t come out of a fucking cave to eventually be forced back into one. If Texas were gone, it would not only be better for the rest of America, but for it as well. Texas would be free of pesky-ass, liberal assholes like me who think the death penalty is wrong, women actually have a right to their own bodies, and guns need to be banned. They could lock chastity devices on women, make everyone go to church, the RIGHT church of course, and they could freely kill any person they deemed was evil or wearing a hoodie. And I have come up with a great idea on how we can cut Texas free that will make everyone involved happy.
Let’s put rockets under the bedrock of Texas and blast it off into space!!! It would never have to see us again, and we’d never have to see it. It would be its own planet practically. And if this works, and why wouldn’t it, we could do the same thing to Florida too. Amen and Hallelujah!