Catholics Engaging In Unwed Sex More Vile Than Hitler Says Vatican

Can anything be more vile than Hitler and the Nazis? “Yes,” says Fr. Phillip Boibutt, Vatican representative on righteous morality. “Hitler was clearly suffering from a depression that made him do questionable things he’d surely have apologized for later, had he not killed himself to avoid being sodomized by the invading Russian army,” Fr. Boibutt stated. “But Catholics who have sexual contact of any kind outside of a Church approved marriage, for any reason other than making more Catholics, are an evil so disgusting and insipid in nature, even leftist liberals, who nightly tear fetuses from their mother’s wombs, just for fun, pale by comparison.

 Unwed, Sexually Active Catholic Being Flayed, Alive

Unwed, Sexually Active Catholic Being Flayed, Alive

The Vatican is starting a program to hunt down and slowly flay, alive, any Catholic engaging in sexual activities outside of a Church approved marriage. And, yes, masturbation is most definitely considered a sexual activity outside of marriage. So remember, if you wank, you die. It’s God’s will that we kill you for wasting His precious semen. We’re just waiting on the Pope’s final approval to begin the flaying. Gonna be MESSY!”

9 thoughts on “Catholics Engaging In Unwed Sex More Vile Than Hitler Says Vatican

  1. There will be lesser Catholics if they go on with this plan


  2. Years ago an old Irish mate told me that when he was at school in some little Irish village the local priest used to tell the boys, ‘Every time you masturbate you kill a child.’ What a strange/evil thing to say to a bunch of 14 year old boys.


    • I heard that my whole life in Catholic school. They didn’t say you’re killing A child, they told us you’re killing THOUSANDS of kids every you wank. Nice, huh? Though it does solve the abortion question for Catholics and puts ALL the responsibility on the guys. Odd that masturbation isn’t protested with the same verve as abortion clinics are here. Men. Always gotta blame women, even when they’re killing babies EVERY time they wank. Sad.


  3. And what about that pope who had children with his mistress?


  4. Reblogged this on The Daily Pause and commented:
    Could the Pope at least start with those adulterers who fornicate outside their marriage vows? At least those unwed younglings would be given a fighting chance to see the error of their ways.


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