Virgin Mary Strongly Supports Birth Control

Virgin Mary Says, Use Birth Control For Christ's Sake

Virgin Mary Says, Use Birth Control For Christ’s Sake

“If you are going to make the beast with two backs and do not want a baby or an STD, then use a damn condom!” The Virgin Mary said today at the President’s Advisory Committee For The Eradication Of Archaic Thought meeting. “Condoms save lives. Thinking like a 4000 year old Biblical figure doesn’t. And not every woman is lucky enough to have a husband like my Joseph, who’s a sweet bloke, but just about as naive and thick as they come. So if you’re gettin’ a little somethin’, somethin’ on the side, and don’t think your fella will buy the, ‘I was raped by God and it’s His baby,’ story, use a damn condom!”

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6 thoughts on “Virgin Mary Strongly Supports Birth Control

  1. if only

  2. Nice post – if only the Pope one Sunday morning could announce to the assembled masses ‘Condoms are great’ then energy requirements would tumble with a falling population and at a stroke he would have done more for global warming than anyone else! Plainly it won’t happen.

    • Unfortunately, it won’t. A lot of Mother Teresa’s message to the poor she worked with was that they do not use condoms for it is sinful. Just think of all the good she could have done by distributing condoms and praising their use instead of condemning them and those who’d use them. Sad what “Faith” does to humans. Sad.

    • She never handed out the condoms yet I have it on good authority she was never without her crutch-less knickers when gardening.

    • I’ve heard that too, the old tart.

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