I’m So Sorry, George

A tearful Barrack Obama reported this morning that a drone he dispatched last night to bomb a terrorist training facility in Montreal, Canada mistakenly bombed George W. Bush in Texas instead. “I feel just horrible about this,” a distraught President Obama said. “We knew something was odd when the drone reported its payload had been delivered just three minutes after it left the Texas Air Force base it launched from. All we can determine so far is that one or more of the drone’s programmers must have heard me bitching the other day that I wished all conservative assholes like Bush could be eliminated and thought I really meant it. I promise we will continue to look into this matter until we find all those responsible for it. I also apologize to President Bush’s family for this terrible inconvenience. Lastly, I wish to alleviate the worries Governor Perry expressed to me just minutes ago by firmly stating no drone will ever bomb anyone or anything in Texas again as long as I’m president.”