Gay marriage opponents often point out that legalizing gay marriage would create a slippery slope which more acts of depravity would soon slide down. “Why not just allow people to marry and fuck animals then?” they argue. “If two men can marry, why then not 4 women, 4 men, a donkey, 3 black mambas and a fruit bat as well?” To these opponents of gay marriage I say, “Hell yes, bitches! Hell fuckin’ YES!!! Bring on the animal sex! So what?! Make gay marriage the law now!” What red-blooded American man out there hasn’t looked at the ass of a sheep and thought, “Man, I bet sticking my man-sausage into that piece of heaven would be divine?”
And I’m bettin’ a lot of you animal fuckers out there would swoon at the chance to legally wed the sheep or zebra you swap body fluids with every night. Finally, you’d be able to share medical and dental insurance with the animal you most love. So let the gays marry, and let the depravity slide on down. Meow!