Now for a re-post of an ACP classic.
” It was an accident!,” Moses said today, in response to allegations that he reopened the Red Sea for a second time only to then close it while three inebriated shepherds were walking through it. “For Christ’s sake already! I’m only human! I only opened the damn thing again because St. Augustine bet me a case of “Bud Light” I wouldn’t be able to do it. He said I’ve become too soft and senile in my old age to do any serious Bible-sized miracles again, so he made the bet with me. I really didn’t expect anyone to be dumb enough to try to walk through it after I opened it, so after I made St. Augustine give me my beer, I simply closed it again. Excuse me if I didn’t think to look for three drunken shepherds first before I did. Knuckleheads! What did they say to each other when they saw two massive walls of water where one huge body of water had just been, ‘Oh look, the fucking Red Sea just miraculously parted itself for us. There’s no need to waste money on a boat now! How convenient. Let’s just fuckin’ take a walk through it!’ Total chowder head activity folks. You’ll have to excuse me for not feeling too sorry. I’ve got me a case of beer to drink and some college football to watch.” Moses had no further comment but shouted out as he walked away,” Go Buckeyes!”
Red Sea Closing On Three Very Surprised Shepherds
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
i found this place called twitter & retweeted
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Awesome. thanks, my friend. 🙂
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it was hard to find you , my friend.you have 69 followers, should i mess that up.it seems like there is a good joke in there
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69, eh? On Twitter? I don’t even have a Twitter account. Now that is a miracle. 🙂
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oh it must have been your sea parting twin ….that’s why i couldn’t find you
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I can’t find myself either. Been lookin’ fer decades. If you find me, tell me I’m lookin’ for me, will ya? I’d appreciate it very much. 🙂
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lol.. i will tell you i’m looking for you, but now i am confused,if you are teasing or if someone took your writing about parting the sea, b/c i found it there & then i came here to see if it was you.
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Someone must have posted it to their Twitter account. As long as it leads people back here, that’s cool. 🙂
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oh. it looked to me like they were you…it did lead here…their name is satire nation
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Send me the link to the Twitter account, and I’ll have a look-see.
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hey i answered before you asked :)…i can’t do links. but if you put Satire Nation under search ,you will see.
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Oh. I know who he is. He’s a blogging pal and fellow satire writer. He hasn’t written much in awhile, but he used to write quite a bit. His stuff is really funny, too. Check it out when you’ve time.
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oh good. i will. no one is as funny as you. 🙂
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Thanks for saying that. You made my night.
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🙂 i’ll be darn:it is night
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Daylight savings time shit has messed up my sleep cycle. Wish they’d stop doing it.
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you aren’t whistling dixie.. i thought it was wednesday.waiting for THe Middle to come on at 8…i forgot when you go to sleep at 10:30 am on tuesday & wake up it’s still tuesday, not wednesday 🙂
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🙂
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🙂
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A classic.
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Thanks again. Much appreciated.
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If ever there was a Nobel Prize for Laughing in the Face of Religion, it’d be yours for the taking! Just came across this blog today and it made my day!
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Thx for coming by. Spread the word my brother and spread the laughter. Religion is a fucking great set up man for a wit like mine.
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Classic indeed!
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Thank you once again.
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Moses gambles? OK per bible?
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Very good my friend. Very good…
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Thanks. Stay tuned, there’s a lot more to come.
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