Now For Conspiracy Weather With Dick Boikins

Dick Boikins: Conspiracy Weather Man

Dick Boikins: Conspiracy Weather Forecaster

Greetings. I’m Dick Boikins, your weather conspiracy forecaster here at TACP presses. I’m here to give you the REAL forecast for the weather you think you are experiencing. What do I mean by this, my poor brain-washed friends? Let me explain. For the past few days, local weather forecasters in Chicago have been telling people it’s sunny and pleasant there with temps in the low 70’s. Yeah, right. And I suppose Miley Cyrus ISN’T a member of the Illuminati helping pave the way for Barrack Obama to reveal his true identity as the anti-Christ either.

I'm The WHAT???

I’m The WHAT???

Idiots! Blind idiots. That’s what you are if you actually BELIEVE the lies that emanate from weather forecasting conspirators who tell you it’s pleasant and sunny outside. Fools! Do you actually trust your senses? Do you think that just because it IS sunny and pleasant outside that it truly IS sunny and pleasant outside? Idiots! You’re mere puppets to the Illuminati if you trust only that which can be proven and fail to believe that which can not. You must open your eyes and have faith in the only truth there really is: no evidence is true evidence. Thus, in reality, it isn’t sunny and pleasant in Chicago. No. It’s hot there, very hot; as is every place else on Earth. That’s how the anti-Christ wants it to be. This is the only truth there is. And it is your inability to see this truth that makes it true. So WAKE UP or die. The choice is yours. I’m Dick Boikins, and that’s the weather. The REAL weather.

 

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24 thoughts on “Now For Conspiracy Weather With Dick Boikins

  1. I don’t ever trust weathermen. They never seem to say the truth and beyond that they can always say they didn’t mean everywhere.
    Have a good evening/ afternoon

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  2. If I were to become the president of the United States, I’d be disappointed if people didn’t believe I was the anti-Christ;)

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  3. Satire at its very best!

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  4. Hey, you’re in Chicago, huh? You should call in Rabbi Chalom. He’s an awesome man, a pleasure to chat with. Here’s his blog.

    http://hjrabbi.wordpress.com/

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    • I will. Thanks. Lived here my whole life. Love it.

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    • Good looking city from above. Seen the airport, but that’s about it.

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    • Fun place. I live near the lake too, which is cool. I like the Rabbi’s blog too. Like to chat with him.

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    • He features in my post on the historicity of the Pentateuch: β€œOf course what you say is true, but we should not say it publically.” He’s the one who asks, “Would you willingly lie to your children.” Rabbi Jeffrey Falick is the new head (is that the right word?) at the Birmingham Temple, and he is also awesome. Where Chalom is more diplomatic and measured, but still forthright (he’s the leader of the Jewish Humanist Movement), Falick doesn’t mince words. He made me spit drinks over my computer screen a few times in our email conversations. Good man.

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    • I thought his name was familiar. I definitely want to chat with him. I left him a message on his blog saying that, and I’ll email him too. He seems to be a really cool and informed man who means to do true good for the world.

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  5. And thank you, Dick Boikins.
    Laughing my ass off!
    Is it safe to go to the golf course tomorrow?

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