Make abortion illegal but the eating of infants legal. What do pro-lifers love most? Fetuses. What could they care less about? Infants. Thus, by making abortion illegal, we make pro-lifers happy, and by making the consumption of infants legal, we make barbaric atheist infant eaters like me happy too. Pregnant but don’t want a baby? No need to worry. Just pop the little tart out, get it, “pop tart”, then simply give it to an atheist near you so he or she can make a sandwich out of it.
Awesome solution to a big problem, don’t ya think? And I don’t yet have a Nobel Prize, why?