I am the Reverend Johnny Edmonds. And I come before you today to tell you that YOU are but haters in the hands of a HATEFUL God! For YOU are but hateful and ugly creatures in His eyes. God HATES you, and His hatred of you fills Him completely. He hates you because YOU dare to hate in His name.
God’s Hatred Of YOU Knows No Bounds!
YOU are hanging, my brothers and sisters, hanging like spiders on thinning webs over the eternal flames of Hell. The Hell which God has made for you out of His hatred for you. And the tiny webs from which your sick, spidery bodies dangle are melting. Melting from God’s HATRED of YOU. You are all haters in the hands of a hateful God. And YOU will burn for all eternity. Burn in a Hell of God’s hatred of you because YOU dare to hate in His name. Yes,YOU! YOU, who hate those who are different from you, and who persecute them for those differences in HIS Holy Name! He HATES you. YOU, who say it is HE who tells you your hate is justified. Justified by the nonsensical writings of old, dead fools, in ancient decrypted texts which you cling to like baby sheep to their dead mother’s teets. Know you this: those old, dead fools, like YOU, are hated by God! And they now burn in a Hell of God’s HATRED. A Hell YOU too will burn in soon. You will burn in it for your BLIND self-loving ways. And you will burn in it for having the audacity to think YOU know the will of God. It is YOU He HATES! YOU who blasphemies in HIS name! YOU. You who He will torture for all eternity in the FIRES of the Hell He’s created for you.
YOU Shall Burn In The Fire Of God’s Hatred Of You
YOU whose flesh will bubble from your bones over, and over, and over, and over, and over again for ALL time in the HELL of God’s HATE for YOU! You will feel the HATE of the ALMIGHTY soon, my brothers and sisters. For soon He will breathe HIS hate-filled damnation on you with His breath of fiery, fetid fury and YOU, you sinful mockeries of life, you will KNOW how terrible it was that you HATED in His name. So it is said, and so shall it be done! Amen.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
I love how you cut down the old testament into three easily digestable paragraphs;)
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I’ve an even easy one word description for it, “Bullshit.” Actually, if you’ve never read “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” by Jonathan Edwards, read it. Not for the head pounding religious message of it, but for the beauty of its rhetoric. Masterfully written. I only used the very last bit of it for this, but it is set up and followed through like no other rhetorical argument I’ve ever read. Excellent use of prose to spread bullshit that isn’t real. But still, it’s an excellent piece of writing.
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Am ashamed to say I never heard of Jonathan Edwards, but I’ll remedy that by using the internet later tonight;)
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18th century American Calvinist Preacher. Calvinists believe God already knows who’s gonna burn and who ain’t and there ain’t a fucking vthing we can do about except live tight-assed and white, and hope we are one of the chosen. Hard-core shit.
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That makes me want to go pat a squirrel.
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Make sure it doesn’t bite you. Deceptive little critters, squirrels.
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After handling koalas all my life, a squirrel is a walk in the park.
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Oh right. You’re a Aussie. Bloody koalas! Think they own the whole continent down there, I hear. Bloody bastards!
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I use the name, “koala, only so Americans know (roughly) what i’m talking about. In private whispers between fellow countrymen i, of course, use the fury-ones real name: drop bear
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I wouldn’t drop in front of a koala. I did once, and, well, to keep a long story short, the innocence I lost the day I did is something I’ll never have back, no matter how much I try.
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Flashback! Flashback!
It all starts out so innocent, so seemingly harmless, fluffy even…
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Please, you’re giving me PTSD flashbacks! Next the voices start, and then, THE POUCH MAN!!!! THE FUCKIN” POUCH!!!! I CAN”T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!! I”M NOT A FUCKING MARSUPIAL!!! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!
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Hey, check this out when you get a moment.
I’m watching Alex Rosenberg’s talk, but i’m betting each one is a pearler. Good stuff.
http://www.preposterousuniverse.com/blog/2014/04/15/talks-on-god-and-cosmology/
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Thanks. I will most definitely watch those. Outta be a blast and chuck full of “evidence”!
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Thx for this link. I greatly enjoyed listening to these guys. Carrol is awesome. I love his explanations of things. He’s intelligent, astute, practical, and open to changing perspectives provided there’s empirical evidence for it happening. Particularly, I like how he points out how we’ve out grown theistic explanations of nature and they’ve been replaced, with great reason, by naturalistic ones, the evidence tells us this is so. We’ve advanced. I think Craig simply enjoys hanging out with these guys. He admits his reason for his belief in a personal god is based solely in the philosophical arguments of yesteryear. His argument that scientific empirical evidence is simply the butter on the cake of his theistic understanding is his way of saying, “I agree with you science guys, but still get to believe in my personal god because he’s unprovable through pure science. Let’s go get a beer now boys!.” He’s totally out of place with fellows who can say, “There’s a lot we just don’t know.”
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Knew you’d like it. Carroll is indeed a great communicator, and i think he’s going to be a headache to the Christian philosopher for years to come. Craig is a dick. Most Christian philosophers are dicks. They have moved their god concept so far away from the god of the Pentateuch that they are in fact talking now about a pantheistic being, which is fine if you just admit that, but of course they never do.
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No. They never do. I really think Craig is a free loader as well as a dick. He just likes all the hoopla. In a way, I respect Ken Ham more. He’s an idiot, but he’s an uncompromising one. Unlike Craig, he doesn’t get it that the bloody Bible simply makes no sense and the days of theism are ending. Craig knows this, but simply won’t admit it. Instead, he tries to fit string theory and the book of Genesis together and then pretends no one notices it friggin’ doesn’t work at all. BTW, if it isn’t over stepping my bounds, I’m curious what type of work it is you do that took you from Australia to Brazil, if it even was work that brought you. Just wondering. I’ve an impression that you are a teacher for some reason.
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Fleeing work is a better explanation 🙂 I was fed up with publishing and chased a woman, who’s now my wife.
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Sounds lovely actually. Brazil is beautiful. Chasing a beautiful lady there, marrying her, and then living there, is a very nice scenario. Good for you. I visited Brazil several years ago to watch a pal of mine from here compete in one of the Gracie’s Jujitsu tournaments. He teaches, or used to any way, at a Gracie school here in Chicago, quite the good grappler, too.
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Yeah, I’ve mentioned that before. I think one of the Gracies is in jail now, for murder or something.
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Man, that sucks.
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Whoops, that should have read, *you’ve mentioned it before.
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I watched a documentary from a few years ago on Brazil called “Mondo Balla” (spelling may be off) a few nights ago. I watched it before and may have mentioned it, can’t remember, but it does a good job of illustrating just how fucked over in corruption a lot of Brazil is. The kidnapping rings are very scary. Shows the type of survival methods some people living clumped together in poverty with almost no hope of a decent future develop to get by.
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Loved the ladies down there, and the weather, but was a tad uneasy in some of the areas of Rio we drove through. Lot’s of bad shit can happen, or so I was told.
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Rio is a beautiful hellhole… The perfect example of how the Portuguese can screw-up the un-screwable.
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Reblogged this on The Daily Pause and commented:
I don’t blame God for being so HATEFUL. There’s still so much HATE on this hellish planet. I don’t know why God just stop the HATRED once and for all.
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I HATE it when He doesn’t STOP the HATE!!! Thanks for the reblog my friend. I appreciate it.
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There’s nothing like a quick – ‘And I say unto you’ or similar to get the old blood pressure pumping yet here it is in all its glory – in reverse! Nice one! Classic satire.
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Thanks. “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” is one of the finest bits of rhetorical writing I’ve ever read. It learned me well.
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I ate you!
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I tried to eat me once too. I tasted OK, but had to stop chewing because it hurt so damn much.
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Have you tried with Cheesus?
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A little Meesus with Chessus with me Missus! Sounds lovely. I’ll bite!
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My brother, you have ceased to be surrounded by light!
Light has you become!
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Well, that explains the strange glow that comes out of me arse every time I sits down to deposit my shite!
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Yeap, it started with Moses’ face, and it ends with your arse!
The great cosmic circle of life/light!☺
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Once again, young Simba, I thank you.
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