Annihilate Scientology With Hearsay: It’s Fair Game

All I Said Was I Heard It

All I Said Was I Heard It

I’ve been reading up on Scientology today. And I feel completely comfortable and guilt free in saying it needs to be annihilated by whatever means necessary. It isn’t a religion. It isn’t a business. It isn’t a cult. It is evil. Evil personified. It needs to be quickly and completely eliminated. An effective technique for doing this is the, “I Just Heard Offensive.” Here’s how it might work, should one choose to use it.

Scientology = Illuminati ?

Scientology = Illuminati?

I just heard, earlier, that The Church of Scientology is considered by enlightened conspiracy theorists to be controlled by the Illuminati and the Trilateral Commission. Earlier, I also heard that The Church of Scientology was behind 9/11. They created a false trail to Al Qaeda and Bin Laden merely as a cover-up. It’s believed by some, or so I’ve heard, that the government was getting too close to too many Scientology secrets, so they concocted the events of 9/11 as a warning to the government to back the fuck off. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

I’ve also heard The Church of Scientology has huge orgies involving farm animals and people dressed as L. Ron Hubbard in leather bondage gear. At these orgies, Scientology members are often sodomized by pigs, sheep, horses, ducks, chickens, cats, and even barn owls, or so I’ve heard. From what people say, Church members often engage in plotting out ways to overthrow the U.S. Government while performing fellatio on cattle.

Have These Rhinos Sodomized Scientologists?

Have These Rhinos Sodomized Scientologists?

I hear this is dangerous, but then, I’ve heard Scientology members are suicidal idiots who do not fear death as long as they’ve the cock of a beast of burden in their mouth when they die. Sounds extreme, I know. But I’m only writing what I’ve heard others say. And I hope what I’ve heard gets The Church of Scientology’s attention. Why, you ask? Well, because, from what I’ve heard, they have a policy to aggressively attack anyone or any organization that is in any way critical of them. Interesting. I’ve heard I’m being critical of them right now actually. I’ve heard I want them annihilated. Go figure, eh? You know, I’ve heard that hearsay, true or not, can be really hurtful to people, as well as to evil organizations that need to be eliminated. I heard that from someone earlier. Honestly, I can’t remember who said it, but I really did hear it. Earlier.

10 thoughts on “Annihilate Scientology With Hearsay: It’s Fair Game

  1. For a minute there I thought I was at a Fox News site…then I had the sensation of watching that horrid Ancient Aliens crap.

    Now I have to take my brain out and wash it.

    …but yeah, no good comes from weird cults. See x-ianity and Islam for example.


    • I think, if left unchecked, Scientology will out do them all. This is some fucked up shit. Christianity and Islam are fucked up too, but at least I know EXACTLY what they’re about. These fuckers, who knows. I just know it’s bad whatever it is.


  2. Good for you! You discovered the ‘I’ve Heard That’- technique of inflicting BS onto other people. You may also want to try the ‘I Read It Somewhere’-method (works 99% of the time, even though hardly anyone reads these days;))

    Have you read/heard about the Miscaviges already? (I know, the name sounds like something found in a woman’s uterus)…The Misses has been missing for a few years now and no one seems to know where she is. Mr. Miscavige is like Tom Cruise’s BFF.

    I really like these Scientology posts…very informative and fun…or so I’ve heard.


    • Scientology makes all else seem logical somehow. There are memos, literally typed memos, that L. Ron Hubbard wrote to his business partners asking for advice on whether Scientology would be more profitable as a business or a religion. Look on Wikipedia. They have one there. Unreal. They have a policy to attack their critics. Cool.


  3. Nice one – satire and education all in one!


  4. Come on… you have to admit there are very few things in this world which are as cool as a Mark Super VII Quantum Electropsychometer!


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