Me
It was brought to my attention, that Ken Ham, Creationist and intellectual Neanderthal, commented, when I satirically said I was going to eat him for Christmas dinner a while back, that I was only picking on him because I was afraid to pick on Islam. Well, Ken, you were wrong. I’m going to pick on Islamic Fundamentalism right now, but don’t think that gives you a pass. I’m going to pick on you, too. I’ll use The Bible and The Qur’an to look for parallels between the primordial workings of your frontal lobes, and the withered frontal lobes of those practicing the hate-ridden, subhuman, bestial religion known as Islamic Fundamentalism. See, little Kenny, I pick on Islam, too. Stupid this or stupid that, it’s all the same, stupid.
Ken Ham: Bible Literalist
Here’s how this will work, folks. I’m going to comment on two direct quotes from The Qur’an, and two from The Bible. First, I’ll quote from the Qur’an, comment on how moved I am by Allah’s words; then quote from The Bible, which Ken Ham says is literally true, and offer my comments on that. Since Ken Ham says every single word in the Bible is true, I am taking everything in it to represent his personal beliefs 100% accurately. And I mean word for fucking word, literally, as written, with no room for interpretation. That clear, little Kenny. Good. Here we go.
The Qur’an, First Quote: Christians and Jews (who believe in only part of the Scripture), will suffer in this life and go to hell in the next. 2:85
Lovely, ain’t it? Just lovely. And why, oh why, does everyone insist on hating the Jews? Man, those folks have had a rough fuckin’ ride. Hey! Christians! Yes, you! Christians! How does this quote make you feel? There are mother fuckers out there who believe this is God’s word. They hate you. Millions of people hate you. How do you fucking feel about that? Their “faith” is stronger than yours, Christians. Like that? Little Kenny, how ’bout you? This shit is taken literally by many, many Muslims. How the fuck do you like that? Oh, they’re not joking, little Kenny. They REALLY want you to suffer. Does that make you feel good?
The Bible, First Quote: Deuteronomy 25:11-1: If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.
I actually like it when women grab my cock, even if I’m in a fist fight with another dude when they do it. Hell, I encourage them to use both hands. In case one falls off during the fight. But Ken Ham believes a woman who does something like this must have her hand cut off, without pity. Kenny, you violent son of a bitch! I didn’t know you had it in you. Wow. Literally reading the Bible makes me very afraid of you, Kenny. Very. You’re a psychopath. I’m just fucking around with my writings, but you, you take this shit literally, as God’s specific, unchangeable words and desires. Fuck you, Kenny. And don’t give me this shit that Genesis is literal but other parts of the Bible aren’t. The Bible is or is not to be taken literally, you violent misogynistic psychopath, you.
The Qur’an, Second Quote: Part One: Allah says that you must keep fighting until there is no more persecution and everyone on earth is a Muslim. Then you can stop killing people. 2:193a
Part Two: But if there are any wrong-doers around after you’ve killed off all the disbelievers, persecutors and aggressors, then you’ll have to kill them too. 2:193b 
Criminals get killed AFTER all the disbelievers. Nice. Whenever someone tells you, or you hear, that Islam is a religion of peace, and love, reread this verse. Reread it until your eyes bleed. Millions of people on Earth, right now, today, this second, believe, with all the power “faith” brings to people, that these words are true and are to be carried out. Combine this with the hate-filled, disgusting rhetoric of Fundamentalist Christians, and we have a really, really fucked up situation. It is not OK to give faiths or beliefs or religions any type of special deference as a society. Continuing to do so will destroy us. This kind of black and white religious thinking is increasing, not getting better. It is coupled with a powerful anti-science sentiment as well, and this is not OK. It is sickening. Horrible. Terrifying. And Ken Ham, you are as guilty as your Islamic counter parts in feeding this process. It will annihilate the human race and leave nothing of us behind if we don’t stop it. Reread the verse above. Now reread it again. Now, use your fucking head about how important “faith” really is to mankind’s survival and grow the fuck up. 
The Bible, Second Quote: And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son to morrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son…. (II Kings 6:28-29)
So, little Kenny Ham is a fucking cannibal! What an hypocritical son of a whore you are, Kenny. I’m writing over the top, hate or love it, satire. I don’t mean it LITERALLY!!! But YOU! You, Kenny! YOU DO! You sick fucking bastard! The Bible, literally! Word for word! Really, Kenny. So tell me, you sick twisted excuse of a man, how do boiled babies REALLY taste? You fuck! You dare call people who do not believe in your god sinners, evil, doomed, cannibals, immoral, and corrupt, and then say you are a devotee of The Bible, which you take LITERALLY! You sick son of a bitch. What a pair of balls you have on you. You know, I hope your god, Jesus, is real. And when you die, you actually get called out on all the evil you do, and all the pain and hurt you bring into the world by condemning people who simply disbelieve in your god. I hope Jesus personally escorts you into the Hell you condemn others to.
Christianity Is About Love?
You, little Kenny, read the Bible literally. It is you who boil and eat babies, literally. And as far as my limited human mind can tell, The Bible, literal or not, was not written as a piece of satire. Fuck you, Kenny. Take a long look in the mirror before you ever think of passing any kind of judgmental thought on any of your fellow human beings ever again. And take a fucking science class, will you? The Earth is 6000 years old only, unbelievable.
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
From what I understand the x-ian Crusades were much the same. Convert to our religion or be run through. Such nice people the religious. I can almost overlook the atrocities committed throughout history when I see the modern day bible totin hypocrite, almost. You can’t un-learn what you know however.
These religious cults are much more alike than I think they even know. Blood thirsty bastards. Oh they try to put on the show. How they are sweet and loving, the love thy neighbor shit. Or the claims of how they are a religion of peace crap. The 5-o-clock news and much of written history shows otherwise.
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The Crusades were exactly the same, however, the Christians were around about 300 years before Constantine made Christianity a religion of the sword. He made the cross and sword one. Islam came out of the fucking womb swinging. Mohammad saw his religion become a giant in the Mid East during his life time. That is impressive. Christianity needed Rome to take it over 1st. Once it did, well, here we are.
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Charlemagne,Holy Roman Emperor, and blood thirsty, power hungry nut case, used to ride into a non-Christian town with his army and tell folks, “You can join my god, or meet him.”
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Such lovely people. I wonder how many preachers bring up their glorious past at the Sunday sermon?
Interesting to note how modern x-ianity has glossed over all of this stuff, and turned their stories of faith into some sort of simplisitc 3rd grade level, cartoonish fairy tale. Especially when the truth is a Grimm’s fairy tale, where the streets run red with blood.
The x-ians think they are so much better than the rampaging Muslims we see today. They are all of the same cloth.
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Absolutely. And make no doubt, we, America, are fighting a religious war in the Middle East. Islam sees us as Christian Devils, infidels invading their lands. And we are. Americans thump their chests with talk of Christian Faith and Jesus. Muslims aren’t deaf. They hate us. They are fighting for their god as we say we are for ours. Religion must be taken out of politics and all special deference taken away. This isn’t going to get better methinks.
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Nothing like using their own scriptures against them!
Of course they just ignore the parts they don’t like and pound on the parts they do like…wait that sounds sexual somehow, we can’t be having that. Off to hell I go. 😉
Their scriputers are interpreted however they want to interpret them on any given day. The enirety of religion is a scam from the top down, and B.S. from the bottom up.
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True. Though The Qur’an is pretty fuckin’ forward with its messages. I see how it spread so fast. Kill everyone not Muslim. OK, I’m Muslim. Where do I sign? There are dozens more like these quotes from these books. Sad, eh?
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There’s cannibalism in the bible?
It’s so sad to think that reading satire teaches me more about the bible than actual bible lovin’ sites…
This one was awesome! Although I’m considering to stop eating babies now that I know it’s a christian thing. Perhaps I should just resort to eating stem cells…
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I just found that passage recently. They hide it. And yes, I’m bummed about Ham being a cannibal. Though that’s an Old Testament passage, so technically, it was some Jewish babes boiling kids to eat. Regardless, Ham says the book is 100% true, so fuck his cannibal ass. And Islam, damn. They be fucked up!
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Maybe that verse about boiling babies, which reminds me I should finish reading that book, was meant as a lesson so that when you make a deal don’t rush into carrying it out, you may be double misled to believe you are in it together which may not be case 😀
Excellent post.
Allah doesn’t like non believers it seems.
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I just came across that cannibal passage the other day. Never knew Bible had cannibals in it. Wonder why they don’t preach that part? It inspired me. Bible literalist Ham actually is a cannibal, or his bloody Bible characters are anyway. And Islam, damn! Anyone tells me that can even possibly be a religion of peace and they can screw off. That’s how it spread so fast. It was an aggressive war-like religion out of the gate. It took Constantine to get Christianity switched into sword mode, 300 years after it started. Check out this FrontLine show: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/secrets-of-the-vatican/
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I didn’t know there was cannibalism in the bible. Nice find!
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Ain’t it though. Reading that shit literally. I’m holding Ham to that. Regardless of whatever bullshit way he’ll try to worm out of it. Man, read the right passages, the one’s Christians ignore and hide, and you find a New Testament filled with the living fucking dead, not even counting Jesus, and fucking women boiling and eating their kids in the Old Testament. Beautiful.
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Man you are on a roll today. Those quotes from the ‘good book’ do your brains in don’t they? Tell me, does Ken really believe every word is for real – not even Pope silly bollocks does that – I hope? Surely no one takes it literally – I hope again. A very fine post indeed – bit a Churchillian speech no less.
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Yes. Ken Ham takes every word literally. Catholics don’t. They place their own dogmas above all else, even the Bible.
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True – they twist the story to fit any current problem that besets them.
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Right. I meant to say, the Catholic Church hierarchy holds dogma above all else. They hated Luther because he’s church idea took them out of the equation. Catholics= You, Priest, Church, Pope, God. Lutherans= You, God. That is why the Church fought and killed heretics. Back in the day, they hated them worse than atheists.
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Churchill roused people to war. Good. I want the same. War. “For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother..and gentlemen in England, now abed, shall think themselves accursed they were not here..and hold their man hoods cheap… that fought with us upon St. Crispin’s Day!”
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