“And the son of a bitch tried to rip my throat open the night of our debate,” a frightened and shocked Bill Nye told TACP News just a few moments ago. “My brain was so full of endorphins from listening to Ham’s redundant Creationist bullshit all night, I couldn’t get to sleep. So I stopped trying after a while, and decided to watch reruns of my all time favorite TV show, ‘Chips’ instead.
Ken Ham Transforming Into The Wolf Man
Somewhere around 3:30 AM, I heard a howl right outside my hotel room door, so bestial in nature, it literally made every hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Quickly following this, I heard scratching on the door, and then a loud growling voice began chanting, ‘Well, I have a BOOK of answers, Bill! Well, I have a BOOK of answers, Bill!’ I knew immediately, upon hearing these mind dissolving words once again, that it was Ham clawing at my door for some ungodly reason. In my rush to silence him by striking him with my clenched fist, I tossed open the door to find, not Ken Ham, but the Wolf Man standing there instead. When he saw me, he promptly began clawing for my throat.
Ken Ham Fully Transformed Into The Wolf Man
I rushed back into the room, grabbed the hard bound Bible that was on the table near the bed, and began beating the vile wolf beast about the head with it. Because I lift weights regularly, if I may say so myself, I happen to be one incredibly powerful mo’ fo’. Thus, my Bible blows to the Wolf Man’s head quickly rendered the monster unconscious. It slumped to the floor and quickly transformed back into its human form, which just happened to be Ken Ham. When Ham awoke, he found himself where he is as we speak: locked inside a cage inside the Evolutionary Sciences Building at Harvard University. He’s awaiting the arrival of Richard Dawkins who’s been asked to help with the study of Wolf Man Ham to help determine just where on the evolutionary scale of mammalian development he fits.
Bill Nye gives A Big Salute To Science
Funny how things like this work out. By debating me, Ken Ham not only showed how incredibly unscientific Creationism truly is, he also revealed himself to be a previously unknown species of hominid that is part man and part wolf. A real grand slam event for science, I’d say, eh?”
The Arm Chair Pontificator 
Should have added – bloody good post!
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Thank you greatly, my friend.
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You know, I never trusted those Neanderthals, with their big noses and hairy ass cheeks (don’t ask how I know)…could it be that Ken Ham is not so much a wolf man as ‘The Last of the Neanderthals’ (yes, it could be the title for a movie)?…
Great post…creationists tend to have a big imagination, but they’re not nowhere near as imaginative as you are.
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I actually think it is an insult to Neanderthals to say Ken Ham is one of them, even they wouldn’t be so stupid as to believe the bullshit Ham does.
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I heard on the radio this week that we pretty much all have a tad of neanderthal in our respective DNA make-up. I’m guessing here early homo sapiens shagged around a bit. Scientists suggest (although more research needed I understand) that said neanderthal genes are the root cause of why we are prone to disease. Wonder how much this Ham bloke has got on the DNA front as he is a walking disease of the mind; just hope he doesn’t infect too many others.
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He already has infected many people. I only hope that Bill Nye has infected some too, with the ability to question things that seem extremely impossible, like young Earth Creationism. I read about our Neanderthal genes. All I can say to that is, early homosapien men had REALLY bad taste in women!
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When we lived in West Country there was a barman of whom it was alleged once had it off with a pig! I questioned the authenticity of this and was told, ‘It were in the papers and everything.’ Delving a little deeper I was also told, ‘Well ‘e were brought up on a pig farm.’ (TRUE)!!!!!
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Well then, there you have it. Hard to argue with that!
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I must confess that I felt less inclined to order my smokey bacon crisps with my pint when he was on duty! Also he was living proof that anyone can get a job – even if the locals all called him by his nickname, Oink.’ And Shirley just reminded me – I really should have remembered – that he went to church every Sunday!
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A dude named ‘Oink’ who fucks pigs. I feel sorry for the poor pigs he took advantage of. I’ve heard it said that some forms of VD humans get originated from people who had sex with sheep. Don’t know if it’s true or not, but it makes a fun little story, eh? People do the sickest shit. Really, you can’t make stuff like this up. No one would believe it.
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You make me want to Google this guy, but I don’t want to add to Google’s search stats for him!! Another funny post as always, sir 🙂
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Google Bill Nye, Ken Ham debate. You’ll get some fun stuff. I only watched a little of it. It was a THREE HOUR debate! All with Ham saying, “My answers are in this book!” OMG! Painful! I truly have a hard time believing people REALLY believe shit like Ham says he does. I mean, there’s stupid, and then there’s STUPID!
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Yep, they’re ALL out there living their fantasies every day…
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Crazy. Even Pat Robertson has said Ham is wrong on his young Earth nonsense. Pat fucking whacko Robertson!
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Yeah, when the person who says that gays, etc caused Hurricane Katrina thinks you’re crazy, that’s some serious shit!
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Isn’t it though!?
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