Jesus And Santa Cancel Christmas For Poor And Dying Children

Santa Looking Over Names Of Poor And Dying Kids

Santa Looking Over Names Of Poor And Dying Kids

Christmas will not be coming this year for terminally ill and poor children. Santa and Jesus have cancelled it. But just for them.

Christmas Has Been Cancelled For All Poor And Dying Kids. Amen

Christmas Has Been Cancelled For All Poor And Dying Kids. Amen

“Santa and I decided,” Jesus said, “that since dying kids have no need for gifts, and poor kid’s parents can’t afford to buy gifts, such children really have no right to be celebrating Christmas anyway. I mean, who’s bloody fault is it that so many kids are poor? Mine? Santa’s? Fuck no! God, my father, gave each person his or her own free will. If some parents are too lazy to apply theirs to getting themselves, and their children, out of poverty, I sure as hell am NOT going to feel bad about it.  And if a kid is dying, why be so cruel as to let him celebrate Christmas and allow him to have a glimmer of hope that surely will die, just like he will, in only a few short weeks?  Naw. Better to cancel Christmas for these kids and focus on healthier, wealthier human beings and their little brats. THOSE kids actually deserve our efforts and will appreciate them much more than half-dead, barely conscious ones, and ones who go to bed hungry every night because their parents are just too damn lazy to get a job to support them.”


14 thoughts on “Jesus And Santa Cancel Christmas For Poor And Dying Children

  1. Another work of art: shared this on our facebook page, where every post is viewed a staggering 11 times!

    • Thank you so much for doing that. It truly is the thought that counts. Now, if one of those 11 viewers of your page happen to be Bill Maher or Stephen Colbert, who subsequently hire me to write for him, I might change my view on this, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

    • Ah…Stephen Colbert…the best republican ever!
      Do you think Sarah Palin is aware of the fact he’s mocking people like her? Sometimes I get the iimpression she’s not getting the joke…

    • I don’t think she understands that ANYONE is mocking her and her pals, the self-absorbed tight-assed hussy! Yeah, Colbert is a cool dude. Maher is funnier, and more my cup of tea, but I’ll write for Colbert the minute he asks me to.

    • I don’t think I could write for Colbert…I think Maher is funnier too, but Colbert’s humor is just so ff’ing smart…

    • I agree. He’s a very bright dude. Maher also enjoys tearing at the juggler veins of his prey with more, shall we say, vigor than Cobert. He likes his enemies arteries to be spurting blood. I like that. Really. I do.

  2. This is a good one. So people have chosen out of free to be born to poor parents? I don’t think that there that many among the defenders of free will, who believe that free will could predates conception. Unless you accept some kind of reincarnation. Anyway, there’s no evidence for either free will or reincarnation.

    • The way some wealthy Christian Conservatives talk, you’d swear they believed they were born into the situation they were by a force of their own will somehow. This just shows how idiotic they are. And this thinking is used to justify their sense that they are superior to others just because they believe they are. Because you are 100^ right: free will does not exist, nor does reincarnation,Odin, Elmer Fudd, Jesus or Aliens. 0 evidence for any of these things exists. Sam Harris says that though we may have some choices to chose from in our day to day lives, our choice of choices is something we had absolutely NOTHING to do with.

    • “nor does reincarnation,Odin, Elmer Fudd, Jesus or Aliens”

      At least aliens are plausible, but not likely to exist in our solar system.

      Though I am not saying that reincarnation does not exist, I see no way how it would work in reality. The same for free will, without evidence how these could work in reality, there’s no reason to assume that they actually exist.

    • Right. Evidence for something must exist before I’ll believe it is true. And like Carl Sagan said, the more fantastic the claim something is true is, the greater the amount of evidence there must be to support it. 0 evidence exists that aliens are out there, but my strongest hypothesis is that they are. Intelligent ones too. Though I’m with Stephen Hawking when he says if aliens found us and showed up, everyone would know about it, and it would NOT be good.

    • I fully agree with this.

    • That’s because I psychically willed you to with powerful voodoo brain magic.

    • Of course, how could it be otherwise?

    • Your sins are all forgiven my son, and you now are one of my flock. Of Seagulls that is!!!!

Comments are closed.