King Herod will be hosting the annual Heaven/Hell Christmas party at his home in Topeka, Kansas next month. “To be honest, I’m surprised Jesus asked me to do this after last year’s fiasco,” Herod said. “To make a long story short, after 4 Vodka martini’s each, Mao Tse Tung and I thought it would be hysterical to put John the Baptist’s severed head in Jesus’ bed with a note saying, ‘We made you an offer you couldn’t refuse’ like in the ‘Godfather’, you know. Well, what we didn’t know was that Jesus, who’s got a great sense of humor, and Yahweh, who doesn’t have ANY, had switched rooms for the night.
Needless to say, there was a lot of yelling and screaming that went on when Yahweh crawled into bed that night. Most everyone there blamed Hitler for it, cause, well, he’s a dick, but I’m positive Jesus knew it was Mao Tse Tung and me who did it. Guess his sense of humor is better than I thought since he’s asked me to host the party this year. He’s cool like that.”