Why is monotheism considered to be the more “evolved” way of worshiping invisible gods than polytheism? Are monotheists smarter than polytheists?  Do Muslims, Christians, and Jews have a more advanced genetic structure that allows them to comprehend something a billion Hindus can not?  I’ve known a few folks who were Hindu in my time, and in no way did they seem like a less evolved species of hominid.  As a matter of fact, one Hindu man I knew was a Professor for a course I took in college on Human Evolution. He was a brilliant teacher and a very learned anthropologist in spite of the fact he believed there were as many as 300 million gods in our universe just hanging around doing god- type shit all day. That’s a lot of fucking gods! Did this man miss the memo on the superiority of believing in just ONE god? He didn’t seem at all worried about it. Guess 300 million gods can kick the shit outta any one god whether it’s Jesus, Allah, or Ya Hew. Maybe their believers are the ones who didn’t get the memo.

And while I’m on the topic, in my unerring opinion, I find nothing at all monotheistic about Christianity. The guy who hung on the cross is not the same guy who drowned Pharaoh’s army in the fucking Red Sea in the Old Testament. No one thinks in such a way, least of all Christians. And I’m sorry, but this 3 gods in one bullshit doesn’t cut it. 3 is not 1. It’s 3. Period. Oh, I also think The Holy Spirit is a poor ass excuse for a god. Where does this dude get off saying he’s equal to Jesus and The Big All Father? “Oh, I inspire folks to believe, so therefore I get equal billing.” Fuck you buddy. You’re a bloody lazy ass opportunist riding the coat tails of two much more important and more powerful guys. Get a fucking life already. Become a life guard for the disabled or something. Make yourself useful. Ya lazy bum, ya. You’re as much a god as Keanu Reeves is an actor.

If you want your monotheism served fresh and piping hot, you have to go with Islam: ” There is no god but Allah, and Mohamed is his prophet.” Now THAT is mother fucking monotheism, baby! Make no mistake! No mother fucking god but Allah! See, ONE god! The Jews are pretty good monotheists too, as far as I can tell. But since they don’t incessantly banter me with ” We’re right and you will burn in Hell if you don’t believe us” rhetoric like SOOOO many Christian and Muslim sects do, I can’t really be sure The Holy Spirit hasn’t hooked his lazy ass up with them somehow too. Man, if all religions could follow the lead of the Jews and just enjoy practicing their faith without ramming it down my fucking throat, I’d feel a whole lot better about humanity’s future.

I personally believe there is no such thing as a god or gods. I’m an a-theist or non believer in gods. I know many people do believe in them, but I do not. And that’s it. I don’t have faith there are no gods any more than I have faith a mermaid won’t show up tomorrow on the 6PM news saying hello to everyone. I highly fucking doubt it, but I’m not omnipotent. I simply see no evidence of anything other than human beings behaving like the creative wiz kids we are and making up magic stories to explain what we don’t understand. I actually think this trait is so inherent in Homo sapiens, and so intuitive, that it must have somehow helped us in becoming the dominant species on the planet. It was useful to get us here, but no more. Magic thinking of the gaps I call it. If we haven’t an answer to something that seems inexplicable to us at the moment, it is taken as proof that a god or aliens or witches, or the Illuminati, or some other all-powerful ‘something’ must responsible for its being. Added to this concept is a subtext which states, “Since we now have proof of this all-powerful ‘something’, it is useless to attempt to learn more about the nature of reality because it’s just not possible, or we may offend the all-powerful ‘something’ by seeking answers and burn forever for it.” Unlikely. Very unlikely.

Logic. Reason. Healthy Skepticism. And learning via the Scientific Method are counter intuitive ways of thinking for us. Our minds are genetically programmed to plug-in gaps with emotionally perceived truths and we would rather kill than admit these “truths” are often not true at all. I trust the scientific method. I don’t have blind faith in it. I trust it because the supporting evidence tells me to. Thank the stars I’m living today and not a thousand or even a hundred years ago. Through a system of scientific inquiry into the nature of the world by evidence demanding individuals throughout history, we have developed modern medicine, cars, planes, heating and air conditioning, showers, washing machines, etc., etc, etc. I like that science says,” It’s OK to not know. The fun is in the learning. Let’s try to understand how to make things better for ourselves and future generations.” I’ve absolutely no problem with people believing in gods or big foot, or aliens, or what ever else they believe in to make their lives less stressful. Just know that if you want me to believe something you say, you have to show me solid, empirical evidence as to why I should, and all-knowing smirks and eye rolls implying my stupidity do not count.