An angry Shakespeare called the British folk band, Mumford and Sons, plagiarizers and sons-of-bitches this morning from his home in Elysium. “This is ridiculous,” The Bard proclaimed, while chewing on a big-ass piece of bubble gum. “They took the words to MY song, ‘Sigh No More’, from MY play, ‘Much Ado About Nothing’, and put them in a money-making song they claim is “theirs”! Fuck that! I’m a business man above and foremost. It’s not OK to steal my shit and profit from it without giving me a cut. Did they think because I’m living on another plane of existence I wouldn’t find out, eventually? Plagiarizing pricks! Write your own fucking lyrics to your own fucking songs or pay me for using mine! I’m going to sue them. I’m going to sue them for everything they have and make them dance naked in front of me while they beg forgiveness from me. Then I’ll throw rotten veggies at them and laugh! Bastards! How dare they do this!? I can assure you this: They’ll wish they never heard the name William Shakespeare by the time I’m done with ’em!”