The Lure, The Hook, Ken Ham, And I Am Not What I Am

“I am not what I am.”  Iago, in Shakespeare’s “Othello”, says this just after telling the audience he is going to destroy Othello’s life simply because he hates him. He is going to do this, he tells us, while outwardly appearing to be honest, loyal, and dutifully dedicated to Othello. He is referred to as “honest Iago” multiple times throughout the play. The cunning deceptions and subtle lures he uses to drive Othello into murderous madness and suicide are cleverly done and it is not at all obvious to anyone in the play what he is up to until it is far too late to do anything about it.  I, too, am not what I am.  I, too, have used lures to get fish to bite the special hooks I’ve left for them with some of the posts I write. However, my lures and hooks are not subtle. Nor are they hidden. As a matter of fact, they are so blatantly obvious there is no way in hell I thought anyone would NOT know what they were. But fish bite them every time I leave them without exception.

Believe me, I try VERY hard to leave lures that scream, “Don’t bite! It’s a trick,” just to see if fish will bite anyway. They always do. Yesterday the biggest fish yet bit. He bit so hard, my blog tripled the total number of people who’ve viewed it in the last 5 months in less than 3 hours. I still am stunned by it. I truly can not believe it. My reasons for writing this blog are very personal. I’ve no intention of ever discussing them here. But I assure you, as far as the writings on this blog go, I am not what I am. I never expected anyone to read this blog. I swear too much and I deliberately exaggerate my anger in many of the posts just because it gives me a woody when I do.  I’m glad for the few really cool people who do read it and get it though. I’ve made a few friends here I wouldn’t have otherwise, really decent people, too. But getting people to read it has never been my reason for writing it.  That said, I would like to thank Ken Ham for taking the bait I recently left out for him and creationists in a post I wrote about him being my Christmas dinner.

Ham Took The Bait, But Robertson's On The Menu Now

Ham Took The Bait, But Is He Still On The Menu?

He personally trashed it on his website ( I wonder why?) while leaving a link to it embedded in the article. Because he did that, countless new readers came by today. Several are now following this blog. I left a hook out there with a worm on it so massive and ridiculously obvious I NEVER in 6000 years thought ANYONE would bite it, least of all Ham himself. Ham is most certainly not who I thought he was. I always believed he was highly intelligent and intuitively bright. And I had respect for his common sense about the world around him. But anyone who takes the bait I leave out in posts from this blog, a blog clearly written by an imbecilic buffoon claiming he deserves a Nobel Prize because he pontificates so well on things he knows nothing about, is a very, very long way away from being bright or intelligent.

When conservative Christians say a-theists are evil and will burn in hell because they do not believe Jesus is god, I’m offended to the marrow of my bones. I feel as though my life and well-being are in imminent danger. To be morally damned and hated merely because I exist is not something I find palatable. Thus, I feel it only fair to share these feelings with those who gave them to me by writing posts deliberately meant to do just that.  A childish revenge game perhaps, but it makes me feel good to play it so I’m not stopping. I always think no one will be dumb enough not to see what it is I’m really doing, but someone ALWAYS takes the bait, and it ALWAYS surprises me when they do. I’m not disappointed they do. Just surprised they can’t see how deliberately the trap was set. I don’t post any of the comments made by these fish either because I don’t care what they think of me, only that I offended them, for at least awhile, in the way they offend me. I like that. I also get a few stunningly idiotic comments from a-theists on these posts telling me “my argument was too crude and doesn’t represent a-theists correctly.” My argument? WHAT argument! You read a post about the cannibalization of Christians on a blog filled with utterly ridiculous nonsense written by a clown who says he deserves a Nobel Prize just because he wants one and you think it was intended as a serious argument?! AND you then feel compelled to comment on it as if you think it I care?  Ugh! As well, I get a few “expert” literary critics who leave comments which will never be posted wishing to enlighten me to the fact that writing about eating Christians and boiling them alive is too crude and over-the-top to be good, effective satire. Really? I’d never have guessed that. Thanks.

To conclude, I’ll reiterate a few things. I write this blog for very personal reasons. I’m God on it and I approve comments I like. If that aggravates you, good. I want it to. I don’t like you. And BTW, your fly is open. I do not care if what I say isn’t fair, isn’t great satire, is offensive to you, is crude, or doesn’t present a-theism correctly. I’m not presenting a-theist arguments here. I’m here to bother people unfairly. I like it. It gives my a stiffy. I love that I caught Ham on my hook. It means I got to him with the most inane, crude, and nonsensical made-up crap imaginable. I pissed him off. I bothered him. And I truly did not think he’d fall for my trap. THAT makes me feel good. Is it petty? Yes. Childish? Yes. Effective, fair arguing? No. And I can care less. What’s amazing, too, is the idiots who commented how threateningly real the chances actually are I’m really going to eat Mr. Ham. No way in hell that’ll happen folks. I’ve decided I’m eating Pat Robertson on Christmas instead.  BTW, this is BAIT. A lure. It’s on a hook. THE WHOLE POST IS A LURE. And you fish will still bite it, won’t you. I am not what I am. Writing is great therapy and a great release. Gotta go walk my dog and drive my Pastor to the airport in bit. Night all.

42 thoughts on “The Lure, The Hook, Ken Ham, And I Am Not What I Am

  1. Congratulations! I had this sneaking feeling you’d attract the ire of the wacky Creationists by serving a spit-roasted Ken Ham for Christmas.

    • I’m rather surprised at how easy it was to trigger that idiot. I’m kinda disappointed too. I’ll put the link to his post in the next reply. Fucking idiot. He states somewhere that the post was a real threat. Really? He thinks I’m going to eat him? Now I see how these Creationist idiots can believe what they do. OMG!!!

  2. Put up the link to Hams post. I must read it

    • Here you go. http://blogs.answersingenesis.org/blogs/ken-ham/2013/12/20/censored-duck-and-boiled-ham/ It would be so easy to have idiotic banter back and forth with this idiot, but I simply won’t approve such shit. Waste of time. I’ve already won. I’m done with it unless he responds to my rebuttal post, which he might do because I told him he wouldn’t be able to resist. If he does, I’ll respect him less than I do now. If that’s possible. He did exactly what I wanted him to do and doesn’t even know it. IDIOT!!! No wonder he left Australia. Few probably took him seriously there. America should be proud!

      • Classic. I particularly like this line:

        “as the culture has become more secularized and a small minority of God-haters has been allowed to influence the education system and the culture by censoring out the Christian message”

        What, precisely, does he mean by “influence education”? Does he mean influence it with “facts”? How dastardly of the “God-haters”!!! Facts shall not penetrate education when perfectly good Creationist nonsense is available!!!

        • Christians have kept me from teaching a cannibal cooking class in public schools for decades now. How is that not THEM influencing the education system? And Ken doesn’t get that it isn’t god I hate, it’s him.

    • Actually, I never even thought this would be seen seen by Ham. This dude is an attention seeking hound’s wet dream.

      • I think Ken is so desperate for attention that he trolls the net looking for his name. It’s that time of year again when he is going around cap in hand asking for money so he needs to show his donors something, because he sure can’t show them actual “results.”

        • I think you are 100% right on that. You know, I feel like I’ve done something bad, like I made fun of developmentally disabled child or something. These idiots have political power and vote. America is dumb.

          • As an Australian (and a Queenslander) i must apologise for Ken. We’re typically very good heathens down in Oz, but he must have slipped through the cracks. Odd, because of our proximity to the Polynesian islands we have a wonderful supply of plump Islander babies for our barbecues which are hard to pass up. I’m guessing Kens mother wasn’t a very good cook :)

            • LOL! Really, I feel like I just mocked a disabled kid who can’t defend himself and isn’t in reality with us all. He sure has helped my blog though. Off the subject, but if it isn’t too personal, I’m curious as to why many Australians have relocated to Brazil? I’d live there for the women if I could afford to move, but I wasn’t aware of the Australia to Brazil movement til just recently. Just curious is all.

            • Are there many Australians here? There are heaps of Brazilians in Australia (Manly, mostly), but i haven’t met many here, not outside Sao Paulo at least. Brazilians and Australians though share a common love of the outdoors, sports, beach, BBQ’s. Climate is pretty close, too. They appreciate our laid back attitude and we appreciate their love of life. There’s actually a Brazilian saying that goes: “Australia is Brazil that works.” By “works” they mean politically. Politics here is maddening.

            • I must’ve misunderstood what I’d heard to mean Australians are moving to Brazil, when it was the other way around. Brazil is wonderful, and I’ve done some reading up on the politics there. Makes Chicago seem like the cleanest managed place on Earth by comparison. I’d love to visit Australia one day too. Maybe I’ll drag Ham back there and fry his ass up in a desert somewhere. Stories about the kidnapping industry in Brazil had me nervous when I was there. I didn’t go anywhere without a few folks with me. “Mondo Balla” is a very good documentary I watched a few years ago on Brazil’s political climate. I think I spelled that right. Thanks though.

            • That was just awesome. I did not know we were mentioned that specifically in the Bible. AWESOME!!! I wrote a funny and long reply on the Freethinker blog on which a few commentators ( Atheists mind you) actually thought my Ham post was real. Another person was shocked by it’s crudeness and felt I damaged the atheist cause with such things. Of course in my response all I mentioned was that now I was going to eat people from the atheist site too. I mentioned it dozens of time because they said they didn’t like it.

            • Well, at this rate by this time next week you’re going to be the biggest on-line celebrity chef in the world, my friend! Recipes… you NEED recipes!! :)

            • Indeed. I’m adding ANYONE who bothers me to my recipe book too, agnostics, atheists, The Dutch, and of course, lip stick lesbians. Bother me and be eaten. And not in a good way. That’s my motto.

  3. Blog view count doubled over night. Ham is doing more for my publicity than I ever could for myself. Thanks.

  4. Dang! My fly is open! And, I am going out this morning! Thanks for the warning. However, I think I will leave it open, just to see if anyone notices.

You. Yes, you! Wadda ya got ta say fer yourself, pal?

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